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When I was feeling lost and hopeless, I shared my struggle with my friend David Meysembourg through a message on facebook. Once I hit the “send” button I felt a little odd. Why did I burden my busy friend with my stupid situation? I know what ministry and church planting calls me to sacrifice and work through, so I feel like such a dummy for crying on his shoulder. It was an impulse thing I did, that had I thought more about it, I probably would have never even written that message. Well, instead of just telling me to keep my chin up and hang in there, he replied with an awesome prayer that was so amazing that I was humbled and convicted. It was if this prayer had so much power that I could not even get myself to speak this to my God without fear that he would call me out for coming before him without believing it with all of my heart and soul. I was in a pretty dark place and God knew it.

As I am seeking God for where he will order my steps to go next, I am focusing on getting to a place where this prayer can have the meaning that God wants it to have from my heart to his ear. As I share this prayer with you, I pray that God may use this prayer to speak powerfully to where you are at and to have you present yourself before God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of God:

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful— I can’t take it all in!

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute— you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light! It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them! I couldn’t even begin to count them— any more than I could count the sand of the sea.

Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!

And you murderers—out of here!— all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations.

See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!

Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

Lord, we lift this psalm to you in Jesus’ name, amen.

Father, thank you for caring for me so much that you would send this powerful prayer to me through the blessing I know as David Meysembourg. What a great friend who is there for me whenever I call–a friend that inspires me and encourages me to trust in you and to live the life you’ve called me to live, whether it be in the church, the board room, or a classroom. My life belongs to you and I pray that I may have the humility and faithfulness to let you use me in your way, rather than have me turn away and do things my way. In the name of Jesus, amen.

I have to admit that I’ve been out of my element for quite awhile. I’m bewildered, frustrated, contemplative, hesitant, timid, uncertain, rebellious, and several other adjectives that aren’t generally used to describe me. What’s been causing this you may ask? Well, if you’ve followed this blog lately you’ll know that I am struggling with my role in ministry and what lies ahead for me. For the first time in my 4 year journey as a church planter in training I am questioning whether this is what God is intending for me. Specifically, my heart for church planting is there and my passion lies in seeing God transform the lives of those that were deemed to be unchangable. It’s other factors in my home life that have caused me to question this as I truly believe my wife and I were called as a team to plant together. That God would connect her gifts with my gifts (which are quite different) for the glory of God.

However, as I pray–sometimes fasting and praying–and waiting on God’s voice, I find that there is no response. I feel distant from God. Thus I am not acting within my comfort zone as I feel like I’ve lost the assurance I was working under previously. I do not want to go ahead of God or act in such a way that I am not seeking his will and following the path he has directed me to. Hence, the timidness, confusion, etc.

I was praying and meditating and something has been getting my attention this week. It seems that everyone God is connecting me to in ministry lately seems to be Asian-American. I’ve engaged in conversation and debate with several new friends in Asian-American ministry and without exception they all feel that there is a need to develop such ministry in the future, but I have been fighting that trend believing that God wanted me to reach out to all people, regardless of ethnicity or color, and help unite them in Christ. Now, I am questioning that…a lot! Why would God connect me with these people? Is it to keep me convicted in the vision I believe he gave me, or is it his way of speaking to me and answering my prayers for direction through these discussions?

All roads seems to be leading me to explore what my role could be in an Asian-American ministry could be, yet I hesitate and resist. Then, another incident compounded this. My senior pastor tells me last night in our bible study that he saw a comment from Dave Gibbons on my Facebook profile and that he went to seminary with, and served alongside in a church with him. Pastor Gibbons has been getting a lot of attention with what God has been doing through Newsong church and was someone that many had mentioned to me as somebody to look at as an example of multi-cultural ministry within the context of being Asian-American.

So, when all roads seem to lead to the same place, but I still feel I want to resist going in that direction, I need to stop and pause, give praise to God, and start looking into this for real and as a possible way that God is speaking to me through others. Unfortunately, I can’t jump into this belieiving it is the direction I’ve been waiting for, but I pray that this will be an important aspect of the discernment process and that this will cause some things to begin to take shape in my marriage to help us be more unified. Please pray for me in this time of listening and discernment, and please pray for my wife and I to come together and experience ministry in harmony and in love and in ways that God can use us to help see other lives transformed by the power of his gospel.

When we are facing adversity, many times we just keep pushing through it hoping we can overcome it. It’s our nature to do so. It’s rooted in pride and being self-centered. Sometimes we get through the problem and praise ourselves for finding a way to deal with the problem, but is that the way God intended for it to be done? Remember what is written in James 4:6:

“he opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Maybe, just maybe, you’ll make it through okay on your own, but you’ll definitely make it through if you just call upon the Lord to overcome your circumstances. It could be that you need a job or your house is getting foreclosed on and you have no where to go. It may be that some things are going wrong in your church or ministry. How about trying to deal with an addiction on your own? Maybe you were viewing some pornography right before you read this and you try to stop, but you just can’t. For some of you it may be some physical illness or even something terminal like cancer. Don’t try and hang onto it and hope that it gets better through your ways. Just invite God to take over and commit to trust in him and wait on his timing. It’s called prayer and it’s something we should force ourselves to go to first in any situation. Prayer is unbelievably powerful.

James 5:13-16:

13Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

In each of the 4 verses above, we see the answer is prayer. In trouble, or sick, or stuck in sin? Pray, pray, pray, pray!

Of all things to reference, I was up late last week and I came across an infomercial. A guy is selling some program to help people live a life of faith. I caught it at the exact moment he was telling a story:

A businessman was at home when he got the call that his wife was headed to the hospital to have a baby. As a businessman, he had a personal car and a company car in his driveway. His instinct was to take the personal car since it was personal business he was on. However, something caused him to stop and pray about it. So, he asked God and God responded to take the company car. The businessman didn’t understand the reasoning, but heeded God and took the company car. While he was traveling down the freeway on the way to the hospital, a car slams into him from behind. As they both pull over, the businessman wants to get out and go see how the other driving is doing. He’s concerned as any of us would be. However, something causes him to stop and pray again. He asks the Lord if he should go check on the other driver. God tells him no! So, the businessman stays in his car and waits for the police and ambulance to arrive.

Why was prayer so important during those two times? Well, it turns out that the other driver was a convicted murderer that was out on parole and could have potentially been a threat to the businessman had he confronted him at this car. As for taking the company car instead of the personal car? After being injured severely in the accident and the other driver not having insurance, the businessman received $1 million in coverage from his insurance company because his company car had a high level of insurance. This allowed him to get medical treatment and to cover expenses as he could not work any longer. His personal car only had basic liability coverage of $25,000.

When we pray, we must not only listen for God to respond, but we must be faithful to follow what he asks of us. We must put our trust in God and not in ourselves. May we purposefully humble ourselves before God in all things so that we may seek his hand and carry out his will, giving him all the glory.

As I reflect, pray, read Scripture and look deep into my heart about the process of church planting I am overwhelmed at all who have been called before me and all that will be called after me. I must never lose sight on God’s amazing grace in my life and this is all for him.

The song “Who Am I” by Casting Crowns is really speaking to me right now. Take a look at the lyrics in the video below and relate them to where you are right now in this moment. May God speak to you and bless you through this song as he has for me…

I feel as if God spoke to me through a blog today. Sounds crazy, right? However, think about this. If God created everything and gave us the ability to utilize tremendous resources in the 21st century, why wouldn’t God use the internet to communicate to his people?

I follow several blogs that help challenge and stretch me as a leader. Today it was a post in Dave Ferguson’s blog that helped me regain a little more focus. Dave’s post was titled, “5 Leadership Lessons it Took A Long Time to Learn.” What do I want to take away from a blog post like that? Simple! I want to learn from Dave today before we even have our official launch service for Revolution Church Sacramento rather than learn way down the road after making unnecessary mistakes.

While sorting through some things in prayer last week, one of the things that weighed heavy on my mind was the issue of finances and how we are behind schedule in raising financial support for our church plant. I was trying to determine what negative impact this would have on our start. However, Dave clarified this for me in lesson #2 from his blog post, which is “Money Always Follows Vision.” As I feel pretty confident that God wants to do a new thing here in Sacramento that gets Christians (and non-Christians) into the community to display Christ’s love for those that need it I believe that God will make a way to fund this vision and I should just be faithful to the vision and not put my faith in money.

As a leader I will be the first to admit that I am not an expert. As much experience as I have in secular, corporate leadership I cannot claim leading a church of thousands on my resume as Pastor Dave Ferguson has done with Community Christian Church. Therefore, I choose to humble myself when possible to learn from experienced lead pastors like Dave Ferguson and seek God to find out how and when those lessons and principles can be applied into the ministry here in Sacramento. So, a big thanks to God for giving us the internet and thanks to Dave Ferguson and other pastors like him that take the time to share their valuable insight on their blogs in the hopes that it helps others like me avoid some of their mistakes

This is probably one of the most beautiful and relevant scriptures for our daily lives because it stands the test of time and offers wisdom that cannot be denied. Christian or not, these words will help empower women and cause husbands to lift up their wives as precious and lovely and serving equally within the household. There is a certain independence that comes from reading and truly understanding this chapter of Proverbs.

I am going to cite the entire chapter and ask you to find those words that God has for you today and call upon you to pray and meditate on those words. I am sharing with you the Amplified Bible version which expounds upon the definition of the original language using brackets where appropriate. Follow the footnotes that are explained at biblegateway.com though this link: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=pro%2031;&version=45;
and get an in-depth perspective on some of these verses which have been taken out of context.

May you come to know the full beauty of knowing Christ within you as God reveals to you the ways of the Lord for your home and family. May this time with God bring your family closer together in understanding how each member of the house should help unite the other so that God’s glory may be revealed and that your family be leave a legacy of the kingdom of heaven for all to see. May you truly come to know and live the life of being a Proverbs 31 woman:

Proverbs 31 AMP-

1THE WORDS of Lemuel king of Massa, which his mother taught him:

2What, my [a]son? What, son of my womb? What [shall I advise you], son of my vows and dedication to God?

3Give not your strength to [loose] women, nor your ways to those who and that which ruin and destroy kings.

4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink,(A)

5Lest they drink and forget the law and what it decrees, and pervert the justice due any of the afflicted.

6Give strong drink [as medicine] to him who is ready to pass away, and wine to him in bitter distress of heart.

7Let him drink and forget his poverty and [seriously] remember his want and misery no more.

8Open your mouth for the dumb [those unable to speak for themselves], for the rights of all who are left desolate and defenseless;(B)

9Open your mouth, judge righteously, and administer justice for the poor and needy.(C)

10A capable, intelligent, and [b]virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.(D)

11The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.

12She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.

13She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].

14She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household’s food from a far [country].

15She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.(E)

16She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]

17She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm.

18She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].

19She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit].

21She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.(F)

22She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].(G)

23Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.(H)

24She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].

25Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]!

26She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction].

27She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.(I)

28Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],

29[c]Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.

30Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!

31Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!(J)

There is something that we as Christians must always heed. No man on this earth has the authority to alter the Word of God. Yes, I know that the Bible as we know it today was written through the hands of men. However, my emphasis is on adding words to the scripture, not interpretation.

There are people out there that claim they are the embodiment of Jesus coming back to claim his bride. There are signs that will follow so that we may know the real Christ. There are people out there that will call upon you to dig down deep into your pockets so that they can expand their ministry with a new jet aircraft. They say it is God’s will for them to travel in such an elaborate style, but with Jesus not even knowing where he would rest his head at night when he came upon some cities, does a personal jet really become God’s will for an evangelist?

I’m not criticizing or being judgmental. I am merely asking you to really look for confirmation of what someone tells you by God’s own Word first. Be in prayer and seek wisdom. Don’t just believe that because someone looks like a pastor or has a title or serves within a particular capacity within ministry that they always speak God’s truth.

Proverbs 30:6 Do not add to his words,
or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.

As we are about to conclude our 31 days of prayer and mediation in Proverbs this week, I ask that you will prayerfully seek the Lord’s will as you read the devotions and pray. Always uphold my words against the living word of God and follow God’s Word over my words always! May you do the same for everything that is presented to you through man that is credited to be from God.

Proverbs 29:19 A servant cannot be corrected by mere words;
though he understands, he will not respond.

This is something that I believe all of us understand in theory, but don’t always put into practice. Too many times I have heard stories from teens where their parents will punish them for their language, but their parents use worse language and that is okay. It gets even deeper. Parents will tell their children not to have sex before they are married or not to take drugs or drink alcohol, yet the kids know their parents have done these exact things. Then, the parents will say that just because they did it does not make it right and it is their hope that the kids will learn from the mistakes of the parents and benefit from their wisdom. ERRRRRRRRR! Just stop it right there! This tactic just doesn’t work. Do as I say, not as I do has no credibility in anyone’s world!

If we aren’t willing to be examples of what we teach, how can we expect others to follow our ways? That is the awesome thing about Jesus. Not only does he give us wisdom through his teaching, but he lived the life in the flesh for the world to see. He never stumbled or compromised. When Jesus teaches something we can know that he lived it himself.

What can you eliminate from your life that sets a bad example for others? Especially if you’re a parent, I would hope you would take this verse to heart. Could you give up drinking to avoid putting yourself in compromising positions? If you think taking out your co-workers for drinks after work and then saying some dumb things will help them respect your authority in the workplace, you are totally wrong. if you tell your girlfriend to be more responsible in staying in touch with you, shouldn’t you do the same thing? There are so many things we do, consciously and sub-consciously that reveal us to be somewhat hypocritical. Let’s seek the Lord, ask His forgiveness, and start being better examples of what we say. Respect cannot be demanded, but it must be earned.

It’s rare to find someone that isn’t a professing Christian that really understands this idea, but lying, stealing, cheating, and being deceitful to cover up your mistakes really doesn’t gain you anything. It has nothing to do with whether only Christians can be moral. When I was an atheist I felt I had a strong moral compass. However, when one is not a Christian it’s easy to rationalize taking advantage of others for our own personal gain or to do some things we can get away with because they aren’t smart enough to figure it out and it’s not your place to educate them. In reality, this mindset is just wrong!

Proverbs 28:13 tells us:

If you hide your sins, you will not succeed. If you confess and reject them, you will receive mercy.

If you’re an unbeliever reading this, it probably seems like it’s false. There are people that hide things and yet they are very successful, right? However, the context of this verse has to do with being successful from a heavenly perspective, not a worldly one.

Not only is confessing our mistakes to God a continual process in humbling ourselves before God, but it removes a tremendous burden from our shoulders always! We’re better off confessing our mistakes to others and taking what happens as a result than we are by trying to continually keep lying to cover it up. God doesn’t want anyone to feel guilty, yet without God we can find plenty in our lives that cause us to feel guilty.

If you’re feeling guilty about something, stop it! Confess it to God and He will offer forgiveness and remove it from his memory as if it never happened. He will never use it against you in the future or cause you to feel guilt or shame. Whatever is causing your guilt, won’t you connect with the person you were dishonest to or took advantage of and just let them know you’re sorry and ask their forgiveness? Isn’t it about time? Take the opportunity to let go of that burden and start enjoying the life God wants you to experience. Let the guilt be replaced with peace and joy.

One of the things that we tend to struggle with is giving in to anger or emotion or retribution because we are provoked by another. It’s easy to make excuses and blame others, but with Christ in us, can we really say, “Tom made me do it?” or whoever it is that you believe caused your mis-step? If we are to be a reflection of Jesus, can someone else’s words really make us look bad? Should we really stand on our own pride and ego if we are to be Christ-like in our ways?

This is one of the most difficult things to do as Satan knows we are sinful in nature and therefore we are going to be prone to be temporarily blinded when someone gets in our face and calls us out and we respond by lashing out verbally or physically as we sense a threat or damage to our pride. As Jesus told us in Matthew 5, it’s not eye for an eye, but turn the other cheek. It’s almost impossible to comprehend when someone is trying to get us riled up, but the one thing that ends this is to let them have their stupid way and eventually they leave to go pick on someone else, or they come to realize how stupid they are acting and just stop. It goes much farther than giving into their way and trying to fight back.

Just know that Proverbs 27:3 really is true:

Stone is heavy and sand a burden,
but provocation by a fool is heavier than both.

The weight of publicly feeling like we are being made to look like a fool or the butt of someone’s jokes or being asked to respond to the idiotic question, “What are you gonna do about it?” is really heavy. However, the weight of giving into the provoking from another is an even bigger burden and it sets a never-ending trap to always respond the same way. Be above the urge to play Satan’s game and just stop. Let them have their fun or appear to have the upper hand. In reality, as you have Christ on your side and his love in your heart, you will prevail. It’s a matter of trusting in God or trusting in the greatest liar Satan. The choice is yours.