When I was feeling lost and hopeless, I shared my struggle with my friend David Meysembourg through a message on facebook. Once I hit the “send” button I felt a little odd. Why did I burden my busy friend with my stupid situation? I know what ministry and church planting calls me to sacrifice and work through, so I feel like such a dummy for crying on his shoulder. It was an impulse thing I did, that had I thought more about it, I probably would have never even written that message. Well, instead of just telling me to keep my chin up and hang in there, he replied with an awesome prayer that was so amazing that I was humbled and convicted. It was if this prayer had so much power that I could not even get myself to speak this to my God without fear that he would call me out for coming before him without believing it with all of my heart and soul. I was in a pretty dark place and God knew it.
As I am seeking God for where he will order my steps to go next, I am focusing on getting to a place where this prayer can have the meaning that God wants it to have from my heart to his ear. As I share this prayer with you, I pray that God may use this prayer to speak powerfully to where you are at and to have you present yourself before God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of God:
God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful— I can’t take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute— you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light! It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.
Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them! I couldn’t even begin to count them— any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers—out of here!— all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!
Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.
Lord, we lift this psalm to you in Jesus’ name, amen.
Father, thank you for caring for me so much that you would send this powerful prayer to me through the blessing I know as David Meysembourg. What a great friend who is there for me whenever I call–a friend that inspires me and encourages me to trust in you and to live the life you’ve called me to live, whether it be in the church, the board room, or a classroom. My life belongs to you and I pray that I may have the humility and faithfulness to let you use me in your way, rather than have me turn away and do things my way. In the name of Jesus, amen.
