As you know by now, so much has happened in the past two months to radically turn my life upside-down. Things are coming at me from all angles and I’ve tried to do my best to discern which things were of God, which were of me, and which were from the force that I don’t want any credit given to. I’m leaving the state I grew up in for the first time in my life. For the first time in my 21 years as a father, I will be separated from my two daughters by about 700 miles and it kills me.

Through all of the things I’ve done to devote my attention to my situation, I was put on hold to pause and listen to the story of a friend. While seated at my dining table my friend talked about how tired she was. She has been in a straight commission job with a lot of expenses associated with it in an industry that has slowed way down the past 3 years. Her father-in-law is in his 80′s and he has lived with her and her husband for the past year, since her mother-in-law passed away. Her father-in-law is elderly, bitter, and full of negativity. My friend tries to please him constantly, but he’s never appreciative. She was kind of venting and I was doing my best to be there to just listen. My friend then started explaining the circumstances surrounding the passing of her mother-in-law. It came with no warning and took place in her home. Her mother-in-law wasn’t feeling well and her husband–in his usual self–said she’d be okay and that she shouldn’t go to the hospital. Well, my friend was really concerned so she took charge and said that she was going to take her to the hospital and that no one could stop her. They proceeded to walk to the front porch, when her mother-in-law paused for a moment to rest. My friend said that she saw her and saw this glowing light surrounding her. My friend asked her if she wanted to go back inside and have something to eat. Her mother-in-law said yes, that she would appreciate some food. She asked for a bowl of noodles and said she was going back upstairs to rest. My friend lovingly prepared the bowl of noodles and took it upstairs, only to find that her mother-in-law had passed away. It’s at this point that my friend tells me that she had no feeling. The only thought in her mind was how she was going to pay for her mother-in-law’s funeral since they didn’t even have money to put gas in their car? After hearing this, I just kept listening. A few days after her mother-in-law passed away my friend made a big sale and had more than enough to pay for her mother-in-law’s funeral. She was then convicted by her thoughts about finances when she should have overcome those worries and felt more compassionate or mournful.

I am reminded of my own experience with my mother. She was admitted to the hospital even though she didn’t want to go. The doctors thought she had pancreatitis. They gave her some antibiotics and my mom seemed to be recovering. For three days all she kept talking about was getting discharged so she could come home with me and eat a bowl of noodles. Every other word out of her mouth was noodles. Know that Japanese noodles are one of the most basic things I know how to cook, but one of the things that my mom appreciated most from my kitchen. She just raved about the noodle broth I made from scratch. I couldn’t wait to make her happy with some comfort food. During her last night in the hospital (The doctor was releasing her to go home the next morning) something happened and her condition got dramatically worse. She went into the ICU and two weeks later she passed away. She was diagnosed with cepsis, which is an infection in her blood stream and it is incurable. She was under heavy sedation and never was coherent during her last two weeks. It was probably the most painful experience I ever had in my life. I’m actually weeping as I type this. Not only had I lost my mother, but being raised to be an atheist and only having been able to share my belief in God and relationship with Christ for a short time before she passed away, I never heard my mom profess her faith in Christ. I had to consider the possible fact that my mom may have passed away from this life and is now eternally separated from the God I had devoted my life to. I wondered what else I could have done. I prayed and prayed and prayed that God called her to him so that we could be reunited in heaven one day. I was like a walking dead person. It was if my life had been sucked out of my body.

In the end, I never doubted God and sought comfort in his Word. I trust God completely with my life. My faith, through all that I have endured in my brief time in his kingdom, I have never wavered on that. Just as my friend had to come to terms with the fact that God will provide for her if she releases that worry to Jesus and becomes more concerned about loving others first, I learned a hard lesson as well. I have realized in the face of such tragedies as we’ve seen in Haiti and the tragedy of losing my mom unexpectedly that I have to continue to put my faith and trust in God. Whether my mom is with him or not, I have to trust that his plan is based on love, yet he is a just God and that all will have to face a final day of judgment. Deep down in my heart I do believe that God has chosen to call my entire household even if I don’t hear them verbally profess Christ as Lord and Savior. He’s given me a chance to do that in my daughters, whom I raised to atheists as well. Now as I step out in what I believe to be obedience, and move to a new state to connect with a new community of people, I have to trust that God will make a way to remove the 700 mile barrier between Beaverton, OR and Sacramento, CA so that I may one day celebrate the calling of Christ in the hearts of my daughters.

In a complicated, inner-connected tale of two people with moms that wanted noodles before they passed away, to trusting God for finances and protection when we can’t see in our human minds how it will be possible, to learning a life lesson and trying to act on it in ways with those in our families whom God has given us more time with on earth, I just can’t believe that any of this was mere coincidence. I’m believing that as frightened as I am–that I am leaving my daughters at a time when Christ’s love in me can be used to influence my daughter’s hearts–that my God is in control of all that is good and that he will make a way to see my daughters know him in their hearts, eternally. That as insane as this may seem to you(Yes, it seems insane to me too!), God is calling me to take my story and share with a community of people that don’t have neighbors or coworkers that can give such testimonies to the strength and faith and peace that can only be known in having Christ reside in our hearts. Today I’m putting my faith and trust in this promise:

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” –Mark 10:29-31 NIV

Will you stand with me and help me continue pursuing the call on my life by partnering with us in The Latte Challenge?

Well, as a follower of Christ on a journey to start a new church in my city, I get discouraged sometimes at hearing the negativity in the church about finances. Pastors telling other pastors that it’s a bad idea to start a new work in this down economy. Churches shutting their doors because they couldn’t support their ministry when the offerings were down. Programs and pastors being dropped because of lack of funds in the budget. Where does it end? If it truly is God’s church, then how can it be that doors are closing and pastors are being laid off?

However, as children of God won’t we be taken care of? Philippians 4:19 tells us: And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Should we be at the mercy of man’s money or God’s provision? What about those that don’t have the knowledge that trust in God will prevail over all other things? You know, those people that are destined for an eternity away from God? Rather than focus on ourselves and what we are lacking–sometimes even pointing the finger at our fellow man and thinking they lack faith because they won’t give sacrificially in these difficult times–why don’t we rally together and find a way to get the message of the gospel out there at a time when people need hope and mercy more than ever?

If we love God above all other things and love our neighbors as ourselves, won’t God in all his glory see to it that his people are taken care of for the sake of others to know that he is God?

Is an out-of-work pastor out of a job? Yes. However, is an out-of-work pastor out of a calling? That answer should be no. We are called to be ministers of the gospel and to somehow dig down deep inside and find the strength to be Jesus for the sake of someone that may never otherwise have a chance to be redeemed. Most of us know by heart Philippians 4:13 in the NKJV that states: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. However, I ask that as you reflect on what you lack and look inwardly at your circumstances, peer into the city outside your doorway and see what Christ sees. See the hurting people that don’t Jesus and what they are going through. We have Christ, while others have nothing. As you consider this, may you meditate on Philippians 4:13, but use the Amplified Bible translation instead, which reads: I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].
Now more than ever is the time to do all that we can so that hurting people that don’t know where to turn have an opportunity to find Christ and put their trust in him. Be faithful to the calling and God will be faithful in his provision. Now is the time for us to be bold in our faith and show the devil that we will stop at nothing to see others come to know the Lord, even if economic conditions seem to be getting the best of us!

Dear friends, I am praying for each of you by name and pray that those who are going through difficulties will know the blessings of God even if they don’t show up in monetary form. For those of you in your cities having to find the wisdom and strength to help those that are hurting and questioning, may God give you the insight and example of perseverance to cause others to look to the Lord rather than the dollar and put their trust in him.

Watched the interview below between DJ Chuang & Kyle Reed regarding mentors. It’s a sad story, but one that I think can be resolved. Watch the interview and then read my commentary below:

This is sad, but it mirrors a lot of my own experience as a new Christian with a call to ministry. I actually had to go outside of my local church to find mentors.

In my opinion, the biggest challenge in finding a mentor is getting people to understand the mentor/mentee relationship. Those asked to mentor think it means a big burden of their time and that they are being asked to teach someone in their ways for free. Mentees think that mentors should teach them in their ways for free.

If you’re asked to mentor someone, count it as a privilege. Know that you were asked to be a mentor because someone saw value in who you are. I know your immediate response is that you don’t have time to mentor someone. Maybe even you admit to yourself that you don’t know how to mentor someone. These are things that are easy to overcome.

If you are someone seeking a mentor, be sure to clarify in your mind what you are looking for. Don’t expect to ask a bunch of questions and get a bunch of answers. Your mentor won’t want you following them around their office looking over their shoulder either. Assess what you are looking do and why you are seeking a mentor. Be able to explain yourself in a brief paragraph so you can get someone’s attention and allay their fears that you want to take up their time without any return in their investment.

Mentors:

Be passionate: As a mentor, one must understand a very key thing. It’s passion. Are you passionate about what you do? If so, then it’s easy to allocate a little time each week to share that passion with someone else who may be called to a mission. If you’re not passionate about what you do, then you definitely should pass on being a mentor. A mentee will feed off of your passion and be encouraged by it. It’s probably the greatest thing you can pass on to someone else.
Be passionate about who you’re mentoring: What are their goals? How motivated and teachable are they? Do they have some agenda? If some of their passion mirrors yours, it’s easy to establish a relationship of moving forward with them. You have a lot of experience and have learned from your mistakes. You have an opportunity to help someone with passion, yet maybe lacking in mistake-making, to possibly avoid making some mistakes based on your wisdom.
Set time constraints: Establish up front before even considering a role as a mentor, what the expectations of time will be. In your mind, you may think you don’t have time, but in all seriousness, isn’t investing in someone in the next generation worth 30-60 minutes of your time once a week? If you’re gonna take at least one coffee break a week, why not share some of your story with someone else or make a standing lunch appointment to do the same.
It’s not about you!!! This gets most people when they reject a request to mentor someone. They make it about their own personal time or their own success. If one works hard to get where they are, why help expedite the process for someone else, right? You don’t have time in the day for what you already do, so how can you make time for someone new? Sorry, these *excuses* just don’t work because in the end they are simply selfish. Step back for a minute and look at the situation from the mentee’s point of view. It took a lot of courage for them to even approach you. They are at the beginning of figuring out what they were called to do and needing a little direction, just like you were at one time. They are full of passion, energy and enthusiasm in ways that maybe you once exhibited, but have since been a little jaded from getting chewed up and spit out any times. Give a little investment into someone new and the return isn’t your own, but instead it is shared by all.

Mentees:

Be humble: Know that no one owes you anything. Be very cautious of asking for too much from someone gracious enough to consider mentoring you. Let them know up front that you want to learn, but mostly you just want to hear their story and be encouraged by it. That you will have some questions along the way, but making the burden of the relationship your own and not theirs.
Be teachable:Don’t just say you are teachable, but truly be teachable. Don’t just pick and choose the wisdom you will embrace and toss the rest aside. Know that everything you hear and learn has value and should not be taken lightly. Open your mind to what you hear and see, not just try to extract what fits your agenda and direct the session to suit your needs.
Listen, don’t speak: This is an area where I think mentees really get disconnected from mentors. You want to learn and someone just gave you an open door to their life’s journey and you have a million questions to ask and not enough time to ask them all. Stop! Don’t have an agenda! Just be open to listen to what your mentor has to say. Maybe you meet for coffee and he tells you a story about what happened that day and you think it is obscure and not relevant to your future. Know that it is! Take it home with you and store it away…it will come back to you and in the end you will understand it. Go with the flow, don’t steer the conversation.
Wax on, wax off For those that have watched The Karate Kid, you know what I’m saying here. In the movie, the mentee (Daniel-san) was given a bunch of mundane chores to do around his mentor’s (Mr Miyagi) house. Things like wash & wax the car, sweep the floors, etc. Daniel-san didn’t understand why he wasn’t karate and protested about being the servant of the house. Then, one day Miyagi shines a light on the situation. He attacks Daniel-san and tells him to do the move he did when waxing the car: Wax on! now, wax off! By doing those mundane chores, Daniel-san was learning humility, how to have a teachable spirit, memory from repetitive motion, etc.

I remember going to a session with a mentor one week and was whisked away from the office to go help someone move a sofa from a downstairs apartment to her new upstairs apartment. My hour was spent moving furniture. Where was the pastoral wisdom? How would this help me be a better church planter? I was quite disappointed after that session. However, now I see the light. Ministry is about people, not building a large building and leading a large staff. Ministry is about service, not getting respect. It was one of many of my Daniel-san moments that I am now learning the meaning of.

Your mentor may ask you to do something you don’t quite get. Don’t complain, just do it! It’s not about what you *think* you are learning today, but it’s about your future.

If people are willing to set limits and boundaries to their time and really look at investing a small amount of time in order to make a huge amount of difference down the road, mentoring someone is a great opportunity to help see ones legacy continued through someone that credits you for their success through their future actions. It’s not about us. It’s about the countless others that will benefit as we learn and grow together.

Personal Tidbit: I rarely feel like I have much of a voice when it comes to being an Asian-American Christian or especially, when it comes to practical ministry to Asian-Americans. However, whenever I blog about such things, I get the most readership and the most feedback to the posts. Interesting!

So, here is another post on an aspect of being Asian-American. However, this time I have to chime in and say I feel like I have a lot to speak to on the issue regarding the controversy between the guys at Deadly Viper and Soong-Chan Rah. If you haven’t heard enough about the issue already, you can read the initial blog posts that started the controversy: Soong-Chan Rah’s post is here; Deadly Viper’s post was taken down yesterday, but you can see a follow-up here.

Let me start by saying I’m not here to criticize or judge anyone. I think enough has been said based on too-little information *and* too much assumption already. The fact-of-the-matter is that I truly believe that had all parties involved taken the issue seriously and worked toward solutions from the beginning, rather than being defensive this would have all been alleviated. Taking it privately where real understanding and reconciliation could emerge rather than making it public, thus drawing attention to themselves. So, I’m not adding fuel to the fire through using a public forum to call people out. Instead, I ask that we take a look at the deeper issue. The escalation was just the byproduct of the underlying issue that hasn’t really been brought to the surface yet. That is, that understanding the context of Asian-Americans in a predominantly white (western, Anglo, Caucasian) culture is excruciatingly difficult, yet important.

To Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite, I know you guys from your time with my class at Londen Institute in Corona, CA. Especially in the case of Jud, I have seen integrity and leadership revealed in a stripped down way that was incredibly humbling and eye opening for me as a seminary student with no real practical ministry experience beforehand. I know Pastor Wilhite is an amazing man of God, full of grace and that he gets the gospel of Christ on many levels as he reaches out to the marginalized and forgotten people in Las Vegas. As for Mike Foster, I sense his grace and heart for people in everything he does. His ministry work speaks for itself. However, with that said, there is one more thing I must add. Neither Jud, nor Mike can stake claim to knowing what it’s like to be Asian in America. In addition to that, I don’t think they care to know. In fact, I don’t think many Caucasian-Americans really care to know. There is just an incredible amount of indifference by white America when it comes to this subject.

As for Soong-Chan Rah, I do not know him or know much about him. However, I read and studied his book The Next Evangelicalism: Freeing the Church From Western Cultural Captivity and found it to be a great work that expressed many thoughts I resonate with. Professor Rah seems to be man of integrity and kingdom mindedness as well. However, I don’t think Rah can claim that he knows what it’s like to be a white person living in a world of mixed cultures where the slightest mis-step can lead to one being labeled a racist. Living in a world of political correctness where seconds after making a statement, social media blasts it all over the world for the judging public to chime in can be quite intimidating (and nauseating!).

You see, we can attack some white guys that appear to have used some Asian aspects to add a cool factor in marketing their book to a white consumer and give them a piece of our mind. Interestingly enough, there were quite a few non-Asians speaking about the offensiveness of the packaging/branding of the book. However, is that really the issue? It’s what’s behind the packaging that is the issue. Unfortunately, we Asians haven’t had a loud voice in America and it has hurt us in being identified as a relevant culture in the United States. Blacks took a stand and made their voice known. Even today we are talking about repression and reparation for slavery in America hundreds of years ago. We are censored in our use of the n-word and how we portray African-Americans publicly in the media. However, the same cannot be said for Asian-Americans. Being born in Japan and moving to California when I was 4 years old, my ancestry is obviously Japanese. However, one of the great injustices in the history of America was when Japanese people lived in the United States in the 1940′s, spoke clear & fluent English, worked hard to live the American dream, pledged allegiance to the American flag and wanted to serve in the US military against Japan in WWII, yet families were separated by the US government and forced into internment camps and their land was taken away. Years later when the war ended, they were released with no restitution and in most cases, no land to come home to. As unjust, unfair and irrational as that act was, did you hear any Japanese people complain about it? In some cases, some of you didn’t even know this injustice took place. And, if you did, it isn’t a burden to you to see this resolved and mad right 50 years later. No, we Asians just tend to shut up and assimilate, work with the hand we are dealt with and be happy that we live in the land of (supposed) opportunity.

Please know that I am not bitter or angry. Just because an injustice to my ancestors wasn’t made right, doesn’t mean that I won’t stand in the name of justice for others. All I’m saying is that what happened to Japanese-Americans back in WWII is an example of how we Asians tend to deal with things. I think white America takes this for granted. It’s a shame actually, because as the world becomes multi-cultural it seems to be seeking to become more Eastern. Religion, design, food, etc. With all of the Asian influences visible in the U.S. today, it is still so lacking because the culture it comes from is never really associated with it. It has been taken over and Americanized. You are getting bits and pieces of Asian culture, but mostly out of context and that is a problem. When we Asians come into the United States, we’re expected to dress like you, speak English like you, worship God like you, think like you. It’s as if it’s such a privilege to share your land, that we must do it on your terms. You take from us and put it into your context of living, yet never really give us the respect or credit. To you, being just like you is our greatest reward.

Know that while you may choose to live disrespecting other cultures that are not your own, at some point Asians and other minority groups will take a stand against it. You won’t understand why it happened and you’ll think we’re making a big deal out of nothing. What you don’t know is that when you say you look at me and see just another person, you are saying you see me as you see other *white* people. Think that’s an unfair statement to make? Then ask yourself this question: How much do you know about my Asian culture and perspective? How important is it for you to take the time to listen to what I bring to the table as an Asian-American? In reality, the answer is that you really don’t care, because you just want to see me as one-of-the-guys. I am one-of-the-guys, but my eyes don’t look like yours and they don’t see things exactly the same as yours. There is a reason for that. You can say I’m making a big deal out of nothing, or you can ask God why he birthed me in Japan to Japanese parents who gave me up for adoption and put me with my adoptive parents who moved me to the United States. If I were to live life like a Caucasian-American, I should have been born here like you and made to look just like you. I was definitely created to live as an American–that I am proud of and I appreciate my opportunities as an American, but my perspective as an Asian is important…it is relevant…it is worth your knowing about. This is the greater tragedy that I as an Asian-American have faced my entire life. It is complex, it can be confusing at times–even we as Asian-Americans don’t see things the same way. In the end, we are all unique and one of the things that distinguishes me from others is my cultural identity + my own personal life experiences. I am clothed in Christ, but that clothing consists of many layers.

In the end, you may perceive me as irrelevant because I have less than 100 blog readers and as a people group, we (Asian-Americans) don’t make or break your profit margins as a publishing house or corporation. However, know that one day that will change. I won’t be the one causing a revolution, but I will be the one that has stood here with my open hand reached out to you and inviting you into my world, just as you have been gracious enough to invite me into yours. Your indifference to me is more disrespectful than you know, but I’m not one to call you out on it. Instead, my hand is open and my arm outstretched. I’m here to join in conversation and relationship with you based on mutual respect and grace anytime.

One of the things on my to-do list today is to get all of my books into my new bookcase in my office. I’ve found so many books I didn’t even remember having. I came across several books I bought for my wife that are authored by Joyce Meyer. The one thing about Joyce Meyer is that she can share a thought that if we truly look at our lives in the context of what she shared, we can all have hope and over come our pasts through Christ who gives us strength.

While putting the books into the bookcase, I decided to pop open New Day New You. It’s a 365 day devotion book. I stumbled upon the devotion for October 22nd. It references 1 Corinthians 2:9:

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.

Joyce begins this devotion by writing:

Perhaps God has been speaking you about some changes in your life and you want them, but you are afraid. I want to encourage you not to be afraid to step out. Even if you make a mistake, it won’t be the end of the world.

Those are words to live by for sure. Some of us go through life so scarred from our last mistake that we are crippled to move forward. The sting still hurts and it causes us to never want to feel that pain ever again. Rather than push forward, we stay stagnant or drift backwards. Our eyes are forward, but we seem to be losing ground to our goals.

Change is a word that I have embraced often. Sometimes because I wanted to, sometimes because it was inevitable and I just had to go with it. When I seek the change and am excited by it, I run full-steam-ahead and sometimes burn myself out before realizing the goal. When change is forced on me, sometimes I respond by resisting it. No matter what we may believe at the time, the reality is that change is a good thing no matter what. We were not created to stay static, nor were we designed to live in the moment of a victory and never pushing for more. Our life is not just one moment in time. Instead, it is s journey consisting of many moments strung together to create a legacy. Our destiny is already determined, but our legacy is what we make it to be. Do we want to be remembered for past failures and shortcomings, or do we want to share in the joy of victories as we grow stronger with each passing day?

What things does God have in store for you? What is he waiting on you to see accomplished? All it takes is making that first step and leaving your fear and hurt behind you. Joyce Meyer concludes the devotion with:

You are not going to be able to everything, but step out in God’s timing into the thing you feel he is leading you into.

You can be assured in the promise from Hebrews 13:5 AMP: “I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not…”

Being in ministry and going through the process of planting a church, I have connected with people that can help me through: sharing wisdom, supporting me in meeting my goals, prayer, guidance, etc. If I shared my contact list with you, it would be obvious who I was.

I mentioned repentance in yesterday’s blog post here. It’s an ongoing process with me and the company I keep is something I feel I need to address. I look to Jesus as an example. In contrast to what others think of Jesus, he was not some lovey-dovey, goodie two-shoes person walking through the streets of Galilee 2,000 years ago. Instead, he was actually considered to be a very dangerous man! So dangerous that he posed a threat to the Jewish establishment. People were appalled at the company he kept. Even his inner circle of twelve consisted of a tax collector named Matthew. He was seen talking and dining with prostitutes & drunkards so often that people witnessing his lifestyle thought he was a sinning glutton and alcoholic (Luke 7:33-34).

Based on the company I keep, people around me in ministry bear witness to the fact that I am blessed with leaders that have invested time in my life to help me pursue the vision God has given me to see a new ministry take shape here in Sacramento, CA. However, what do the people of Sacramento see? Do they see a ministry leader that associates mainly with Christians and others in ministry, or do they see someone that has compassion and love for his fellow human regardless of his/her faith? Do my neighbors see a revolutionary of grace or the safety of a well-positioned minister to Christians?

I’ve spent a lot of time chasing the church and making it my idol. I’ve been wrapped up in believing that I am only as good as my church–that without formal ministry, I am nothing or will be labeled a failure. I’ve sacrificed time in my business (my only source of income as I don’t take a salary from the church), time with my family, and time from those in need of Christ’s love in my community. In reality, ministry is really about people and fulfilling The Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22:36-40)–we are called to love others above ourselves, not gain respect from our work in ministry.

Know that most of the people in my life are not of a Protestant Christian faith. Living most of my life as an atheist, you can imagine that I didn’t keep many Christian friends, nor witnessed any family members come to faith in Christ through my words. I do associate with people that spend time in bars or have been known to devote their lives to making lots of money. However, I feel that my focus has been on building new relationships that will help me move forward in ministry ahead of relationships that will foster the love of Christ in unknowing, anonymous ways. Too often I’ve brought attention to myself in the name of Christ’s Church rather than in the name of Christ period. I am repenting for this and moving forward in a more-balanced way regardless of what happens with my role in formal ministry. I’m looking at making a difference in the world anonymously so that people see Christ, not me and right now I can only do it one person at a time. I cannot let my natural instincts as an introvert lead my thought process.

How would people in the world view you based on the company you keep? It’s an important question that I hope you spend a moment pondering today.

Well for me, the answer lies within the first words Jesus preached from Matthew 4:17:

From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.”

The essence of Christian faith is grace. We learn in Ephesians 2:8, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” With grace comes the forgiveness of Jesus for any and all things from our past. We start with a clean slate.

Repentance tends to be an evil word to those outside of the faith. It is misunderstood. I know when I was living as an atheist, I would hear people talk about repenting and seeking forgiveness, but in my mind there was nothing I felt I needed to be forgiven for. Now as a follower of Christ, there are many things I do and think about that I need to seek forgiveness for. However, repentance isn’t just about being forgiven. It goes much deeper than that. When one repents it must be a turning away from that which is wrong and then turning towards that which is right. We then must continue to deal with moving towards what is right. That is the difficult part.

When I first came to faith I made a commitment to God. In that commitment I asked for forgiveness and as a result I have never been made to feel guilty for anything from my past. All of my hurt and pain and emptiness was replaced with the grace and love of Jesus. That’s the great part! However, that’s been Jesus’ part of the commitment. He has remained true to that. My part of the commitment hasn’t been so true. I didn’t merely ask for forgiveness–instead, I made a commitment to repent.

In what others may see as a nasty word, I find beauty. When I feel the burden to turn away from doing things that I should not do, I know there is someone there to take those burdens away from me and to help guide me in the right direction. God did not create me in order to watch me fail. He reunited with me and called me into his embrace so that I could know true life. That life is filled with ups-and-downs, joy and pain, gain and loss. However, this new life I’ve been given has meaning and purpose and I need to always direct my eyes towards God and remember what he first called me to do–repent for the kingdom of heaven is near.

Repentance can seem like a scary thing. It may require us to turn away from something like causing physical harm to another human being, or it can be something as simple as being judgmental or speaking negatively about someone unjustly. No matter how big or small, turning away from something we know we shouldn’t do and honoring our commitment to then focus on doing only what we know is right is something that God requires from us. It’s our part of the commitment. If we truly believe we are in a relationship with God through Jesus, then we all know that there are two parts to any relationship.

Have you honored your part of your relationship with God lately? Not the part of doing what you feel he has called you to do or taking when he has extended his hand to you? I mean the part of your relationship where Jesus asks you to repent and come closer towards him and you look into your heart and seek to turn away from the things he wants you to.

Maybe you have felt the pain of carrying around a huge weight on your shoulders and you have not known how to be removed from it. It may be such a part of you now that you can’t imagine living a day without it being heavy on your heart. As difficult as it may be to imagine, won’t you just ask Jesus to come into your life and remove it? Nothing else has worked so far, because knowing Jesus is the only way. Know that God didn’t create you to be a table for heavy burdens. He created you to rise above all things and equipped you with the strength to get through it and to know joy through his spirit residing within you. Asking him into your heart and seeking new life may seem like a stretch of the imagination at first thought, but you’ll find that once that thought enters your mind, you won’t be able to forget about it. It eventually feels like the right thing to do. Go with it. Talk to God. Lift up your burdens to him. Tell him what you’ve been carrying around and ask him to forgive you of it and take away the pain. He will do it. In fact, he already knows about it. It’s not new news to him. However, he has not sat in judgment of you, nor will he cause you to feel guilty. He just wants you to come to know him and seek to live a new life walking together with him.

For all that Christ has done in my life, it is so easy to talk about the good things. However, it’s not so easy to talk about the bad things. As the one that has brought some bad things into my relationship with God, it is time for me to shun those things and do my best not to look to doing them again. Today is the day that I take time with God and repent from doing some things that I need to stop doing. It may cause some distance between me and some others, but it’s a small price to pay to honor my commitment to the Lord. It isn’t about guilt–it’s about God’s kindness that leads me to this place of repentance. Lord, I ask that you give me the strength to confess those things that I want to turn away from and that you give me the strength to never go back them. May it be so for all those that come to you on this day seeking your love and kindness and turning their backs on those things that need to be left in the past.

Being that I am bi-vocational (receiving income from my work in business rather than as a pastor) I get a chance to be involved in the corporate world and the Christian world. It’s one of the things I enjoy because it keeps me from becoming “religious.” Maybe I should say that I usually enjoy it. Today was an exception.

I found some charges on my Bank of America corporate bank account that I disputed with the bank. My wife had initiated the dialog with the bank yesterday, but they didn’t honor what they said they would do, leaving us with hundreds of dollars in charges we were not in agreement with. So, I talked to a customer service manager by phone today. The person that agreed to rescind the charges was off work today, so I had to talk to someone else. Rather than just take care of it, I got the following response:

manager: I understand what you’re saying. If agreed to this, that is her call. However, it’s more than we are required to do.

me: I understand it’s more than you are required to do. All I’m asking is that you reverse the charges today so I can resolve some other pending issues. Then, you or I can talk to tomorrow and confirm that she authorized it.

manager: The charge is legitimate so I cannot help you. It’s more than I am required to do.

me: So, even though you have the authorization to make this right, you won’t do it since it’s more than you are required to do?

manager: That is correct.

Okay, so let’s get something cleared up. I’m not complaining that the manager on duty today wouldn’t resolve this matter for me. I’m just disappointed in his attitude towards the whole thing. I’ve been with Bank of America for over 10 years and had personal accounts with them for over 20 years. To have the matter handled the way it was, beginning with the error on the first manager’s part seemed really ridiculous.

It’s not like I did anything wrong here. As a long-time customer of Bank of America, my hope was that they would appreciate my business more than they obviously do. In my business, I would never, ever have anyone with this kind of attitude in management. Sure, there are company policies and guidelines, but even if an employee makes a mistake, it is my business to make sure the client’s position is considered and appropriate action is taken. Sometimes, situations lend themselves to doing more than is required.

I watched The Charlie Rose Show on Monday and Jason Kilar, CEO of Hulu was the guest. I have only used hulu twice and had difficulty trying to watch shows on my laptop screen (I’m used to the 42″ LCD tv in my family room with surround sound) so I don’t have much knowledge/experience with hulu. However, after watching Jason Kilar I am now a huge fan of hulu! Not necessarily for how it meets my needs, but for the business model they have undertaken and their humble attitude in all of their success so far. Kilar mentioned how he uses twitter. It’s his new google. He said that he uses search.twitter.com about 12 times a day and scans for every mention of the keyword “hulu” being tweeted. One specific response he discussed was that people will tweet about typos they find on hulu. Kilar will see this tweet within the hour it was originally posted and then immediately get the info to his CTO (chief technical officer) who will make sure it’s corrected. In real-time, about less than 60 minutes from the time it is noticed by the general public until it is fixed. The amazing thing about this is that this is the CEO of hulu doing this, not some hourly employee. Knowing the power of social media and how so much is dependent upon word of mouth these days, Jason Kilar gets it and I applaud him for it. Bank of America, on the other hand, obviously does not. As we say on twitter: #fail BofA!

I’m reminded of the story in Mark 2 of the Bible about some people that did more than was required:

¹A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. ²So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. ³Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. ⁴Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. ⁵When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

Just getting the paralyzed man to Jesus’ meeting would have been more than was required since he couldn’t walk on his own. There were so many there that wanted to be healed that it’s understandable that they could not make it through the crowds. However, doing more than required they made their way to the roof and lowered their paralytic friend down to Jesus. Bold…creative…ingenious…loving…more than required.

If Jason Kilar did what was required, we would all be forced to watch tv based on programming schedules. Hulu allows us the freedom to watch shows when we want, where we want. Kilar, whose background includes amazon.com, google and Microsoft was very comfortable in his career–a huge success already in most people’s eyes. However, he chose to do more than was required so that multitudes of us could enjoy more personal freedoms when it comes to media. Sometimes being a well-known company affords them some level of being comfortable, but it is the company willing to do more than is required that will be at the forefront with loyal client bases. From a Christian perspective, how can we be faithful like the friends of the paralytic in Mark 2 and do more than is required? With the power of the internet and social media, our actions will speak louder and reach more people than ever before. Please don’t blow your opportunities.

I don’t think I will ever get over how things that may seem negative can be turned into positives. I’ve experienced some things that have been very disappointing recently. It’s always when I put my faith in others, but luckily I am not measured by their actions and closed mindedness. People can do their best to make themselves look better by taking things out of context and slinging them back at me, but I don’t care. For me, it is all about the test of time. Who will still be standing because of the truth in their words and actions? It’s not about what others think, but more about how true I can stay to who I am and what I am supposed to do.

In the end, no matter what people say, often they are selfish at heart and when I can no longer contribute to something they lash out or just distance themselves. It feels like there was never any respect for my contribution–no acknowledgment of thanks–just disappointment in how they handle themselves.

I’ve been asked several times by people if I have been disappointed at the small numbers of people that have attended our public preview services for Revolution Church Sacramento. Since the preview services were more for our benefit in helping to get unified in vision, participate in something like One Prayer that showed unity within the body of Christ, and letting people know we were more than just a conversation in someone’s living room, I am not disappointed at all. Others may have been disappointed, but their perspective would be out of context of what I expected from our time together in June. For me, the truly disappointing thing has been when others have been there for me when I was giving of my time and talents to help them, but left me cold when I wasn’t there for them. I guess I’m more saddened than disappointed, but disappointment is a by-product of putting our faith in others based on present circumstances when it is inevitable that some will just end up showing themselves to be fair weather friends.

As I was thinking about this post, I decided to look for some quotes on the topic of disappointment. It turns out they were just what I needed and I hope that they help you have a new perspective on disappointing times and situations as well:

• “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.” –Robert Kiyosaki
• “Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” –Eliza Tabor
• “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.
• “People look at you and me to see what they are supposed to be. And, if we don’t disappoint them, maybe, just maybe, they won’t disappoint us.” –Walt Disney
• “One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” –Henry Ward Beecher

Through it all, we will never please everybody and trying to do so will lead not just to disappointment, but also to frustration and failure. We should always hope for the best in others, but know that there will be times when we let our expectations get in the way. In the end, disappointments are a fact of life and as the quotes above indicate, can be used to make us better and stronger. After going through some disappointments recently, I’m greatly anticipating some success as I position myself with where and whom God calls me.

My friend Kenny Jahng recently posted this question to twitter:

@kkcoolj Does the Church have any responsibility to teach its own brothers & sisters 2 treat THEMSELVES w/ financial accountability, responsibility?

From this we engaged in some conversation about the matter via twitter, but 140 character bursts won’t really add clarity to my position. Thus, this blog post was created to reinforce my views.

Kenny and I are on different sides of the fence on this issue. In actuality, he and most other people may be on the other side of the fence from me. However, I feel the church is not a classroom and we put off a lot of people when we plead with the church to listen to messages that have no relevance to them. Let me explain: I believe that the bride of Christ [Revelation 19:7] should be more concerned about matters of the kingdom than about personal shortcomings. I am not interested in programs and classes, instead I want people far from God to come to know that his people are open-minded, big-hearted, compassionate and operating under grace and mercy from above and no one is above the love of Christ or so far away that he won’t draw near to them.

Is being responsible with our finances a biblical principle? Absolutely! Proverbs 22:26-27 and Luke 16:1-4 are a key verse for me in this respect. Should the church share the Word of God in regards to money? Definitely. However, should the church make it a point to minister to people about money assuming that no one knows how to be good stewards of their finances? I don’t think so.

As bad as the economy is right now and with all of the defaults on mortgages, auto loans, credit cards, etc. know that there are still many people out there with perfect credit, stable employment and comfortable homes. Some even have much more in excess of their needs with no worries about making ends meet. Will talking to them at length about managing their finances really help them to know Christ and to be light to others that do not know Jesus eternally? I can’t connect the two. There is a place to talk about finances and money in context of the gospel, but becoming financial professors to the community at large isn’t what I believe the church was intended to do.

As a side note, what does financial freedom really do? In its basic form, it empowers people to know peace without Christ. They get complacent and sometimes even become so thrifty that they fail to help others as they horde their money in fear of losing it. If we as the church teach people to manage their finances better, they feel less need for God and others. They take the information and put it in the bank for safe keeping. In contrast to that, rather than force feed people messages on financial freedom or prosperity, what if we explained that our finances really have God as the source? If we took a biblical view of what money is and how God entrusted us as stewards with hearts of compassion for others that have less. Imagine what the world would be like if we as supposed Christ followers stopped looking to the church as having to meet their personal needs and looked to others as the Bible tells us to in Matthew 25:31-46:

³¹“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. ³²All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

³⁴“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

³⁷“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

⁴⁰“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

⁴¹“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴²For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴“They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

⁴⁶“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

We as the church need to show others just how much Christ loves them and has a plan for their lives which leads not to peace in this world, but peace on an uncomparable, eternal level with the God of the universe. Let us focus on Jesus, the lover of our soul and less on how we can have happier lives because of a false understanding that God wants us to be happy. God never, ever called on us to be happy. He did, however, call us to be holy!