God


3
Oct 11

On doing good and the church

I read a new study released by The Barna Group on Six Reasons Young Christians Leave The Church. Again, it’s another statistic that saddens me. I am beyond being classified as young right now, but I totally relate to what this study found:

  1. Churches seem overprotective.
  2. Teens’ and twentysomethings’ experience of Christianity is shallow.
  3. Churches come across as antagonistic to science.
  4. Young Christians’ church experiences related to sexuality are often simplistic, judgmental.
  5. They wrestle with the exclusive nature of Christianity.
  6. The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt.

I can already hear a lot of so called “mature Christians” looking at the study and condemning younger Christians as being shallow. Heck, it even states that in reason #2! However, it’s not just young Christians that feel this way. How many times have we spoken to someone about attending a church service only to hear the response, “Church just isn’t relevant to me. I have a personal relationship with God and I don’t need to go to a place where all they want to do is take my money and ask me for my time.” I hear stories like this about the church far too often. It’s particularly saddening to me though when it applies to the younger generation. Mainly because the younger generation may find the church irrelevant because they aren’t hearing answers to their questions as shown in Scripture or they just find it boring. I think the two go hand-in-hand.

The contemporary church moves towards seeking to connect with people through modern, guitar-driven music and dynamic preaching. In the end, I feel it’s better-suited to drawing in Boomers rather than Millenials. If the church fails to connect with the younger generation, how does that play out for our future?

The reason this is on my mind and weighing heavy in my heart is that I have been sensing a call to action lately. A lot of passions lie outside of what typically is viewed as taking place within the church and after being engaged in so many conversations about how many people feel they are close to God, yet distance themselves completely from the church makes me wonder if doing good outside the church may be my future.

As I look at my life, I had an experience with God that had nothing to with sitting in a church service and feeling convicted or being at a low point in my life where I was seeking strength and hope. However, I truly believe that God still wants to move through his people and is using the local church to affect transformation in our cities. It’s time that the church woke up to the change in the next generations and take what is good and shed what is not so good. Catering to the whims of Gen Y Christians isn’t the answer though. If you look deeply at what the Barna study states and what I hear from people on the street every day is that they would find church relevant if they truly experienced an encounter with God as they gather together. If they could serve in ways that made a difference, without judgement and chose to answer questions rather than force what is deemed as truth on a disconnected audience, the local church could experience revival. The awesome thing about this would be that it isn’t just going to be relevant to young people. It could be a multi-generational movement of amazing proportions with God in the midst and evidenced through the church’s story.

Obviously, there is a place for ministries of all shapes and sizes and there is definitely a need for people/orgs that will focus on specific areas of need to do good. In the end, the most glaring question to me is this: If the church really did what it seems like it was called to do, would the need for so many organizations exist? If we weren’t bombarded with so many calls for compassion on tv/radio/print media/social media to commit our time and resources to a cause every few seconds each and every day, would we respond differently? Would the world be a different place? Could it be a better place?

My call to action is not a calling or a vision that mandates me to something… yet. I am feeling something is about to change, and this time I don’t think I’ll have the energy to fight against it. This time, I don’t think I’ll feel like I’m in it alone.

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12
Sep 11

What’s mine is mine

I’m a very transparent person. If you follow me on twitter, friended me on facebook, or are a regular reader of this blog you basically know where I’m at in life and what my mood is like at any given time. It wasn’t always like this. I never used to share anything with anybody regarding personal matters, struggles or even accomplishments. I was a very private person.

These days, I probably share too much and at times it probably seems like I share too often. However, know that it is really, really hard for me to do this. To invite someone into my messy journey is such a foreign thing for me. I’m so used to sucking it up and dealing with it on my own--believing that it’s my struggle and my ability that will get me through it--that to do anything differently feels like such a risk. What’s mine is mine and should remain out of sight from others and resolved without any help. At times I feel like I make my burden someone else’s burden when I even tell them what I’m going through or calling upon them to pray with me.

God has laid a heavy task on me. He has called me to him and requires that I rely on him--and not myself--to make it down the path he has laid before my feet. For many this may seem like an easy thing to do. For some, it may seem like a necessity in order to be deemed a Christian. Take responsibility away from oneself and put it at the feet of Christ. To me, this is like trusting someone else with my own life. It’s scary, weird, and extremely difficult. It’s the cross I carry everyday. What’s mine is mine I keep telling myself.

For my friends that have hung around long enough to endure some of my burden, it is as if you were Jesus to me. Your support and encouragement and listening ears have helped me with my struggle on many occasions. One day I hope to be able to trust completely in my God and his promises, but because of where I’ve been, it’s hard to let go of the rope. What’s mine should be his, only made mine because with his help I can make it through the day. I am being changed and shaped for a life that I may not recognize, but it’s one that I desire. A life that transforms me from being mine to being his. To be in a relationship with God where I can trust him with my life even in the most mundane of things. There is hope.

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27
Dec 10

Is church a priority for you?

I’ve sort of come full-circle on this issue. I remember my thoughts as I was in an Episcopal church service about 8 years ago and how I felt out of place and unnoticed. At the time, I was an atheist and went with my fiance to make her happy. My observations at the time were that in order to fit in, I had to be just like them. As an atheist not believing in the God they were singing to, being spoken to about, and praying towards was something I wasn’t going to be comfortable with. Fast forward 8 years and oddly I feel similar as I observe my environment within the church. I don’t know if I really believe in the God that I hear about or see people pray to in church services.

From my own experience, God transformed my way of life in a dramatic way. I gave up a lot of worldly things to pursue a not-of-this-world God. I came to know a God whose Son sacrificed his own self in order to allow us to no longer be separated from an eternal Father. I had knowledge bestowed upon me that had no logical explanation for I had not studied such things previously. My hearts was changed and my righteous judgments were stripped away. I came away from my first experience with God as a different person. My life had new meaning and it had nothing to do with me. To me, I came to know a powerful, loving God filled with grace and compassion. A God that wanted me to know his truth so that I could be set free.

In the church today I occasionally hear stories of such a God, but I also see a lot of indifference in people. I find people arriving out of obligation and bolting for the door before the preacher asks them to worship God through the offering of their finances. I see people sing songs where the words seem to have little meaning to them.

Somehow the God I came to know in October 2004 has become a mediocre God. He is a tolerated God. He has been relegated to the bleacher seats as technology has taken center stage. We have become consumers of church rather than being consumed by God.

My heart aches at what I see around me and I feel helpless to do much other than turn my eyes back to the one who called me to him first. I must make God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit first in my life and hope that someday I can be united with others in a community that expects to see a powerful God that transforms lives and adds to the numbers daily those who come to know this God that loves them and calls upon us to love others. I miss having a church community that I can love and grow with, but even more I miss being in communion with the God I first came to know 6 years ago when he called me to him and asked me to place his trust in him and believe that he was who he said he was.

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10
May 10

What is your calling?

I’m still reflecting on my last session with Pastor Tom Morgan, my spiritual director. [For those of you haven't considered meeting with a spiritual director, or may not know what one is, please check out this overview] Tom has a great way of sitting back and hearing me out, then helping clarity rise to the surface simply by asking, “Where is God in all of this?” Having operated for so many years with a strong calling to plant a church, it is so weird--sometimes frightening--to not be driven by this calling. Through my time with Pastor Morgan, I am beginning to embrace this unknowing feeling of not sensing a clear call to action. As I release myself from the burdens of seeking finite and absolute direction from God, I believe that I am being filled with something even greater. It’s a new calling and one that I don’t have much experience with. I believe that God wants you to reflect on this calling for your life as well. No matter what you feel about your ministry and how called you are to pursue it, take a look at a far greater and superior calling found in 1 Peter 2:9-10:

9But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Your calling is to come out of the darkness and into the light. To live a life transformed through your faith in Christ, by his grace, to love God and love others. Yes, God’s calling which is superior to any calling you may operate under is to be in eternal relationship with him. God loves you and asks that you love him in return. He cares more about you than he cares about your ministry, sermon prep, long hours in prayer for your church members, etc. First and foremost you must have a strong relationship with God first.

I have always known this, yet have been so busy looking for signs and confirmations of how to move forward in ministry, that I have put ministry ahead of my relationship with God often. Now, as I have come to embrace the fact that I have excluded myself from formal ministry in favor of having some intimate time learning of how my Creator wants to know me more, so that I can in-turn know him more, I can experience the highest calling ever placed upon my life.

Your ministry, family, community, church…those are all important things to be called to. I don’t want to discount that. However, if you put those things ahead of your personal relationship with God through Christ, then you are setting yourself up for some lonely days and a lot of failures. God called  you to himself first. Honor that calling above all others and you can know with certainty that you operating under his will and that he is pleased.

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11
Feb 10

Can it just be a coincidence?

As you know by now, so much has happened in the past two months to radically turn my life upside-down. Things are coming at me from all angles and I’ve tried to do my best to discern which things were of God, which were of me, and which were from the force that I don’t want any credit given to. I’m leaving the state I grew up in for the first time in my life. For the first time in my 21 years as a father, I will be separated from my two daughters by about 700 miles and it kills me.

Through all of the things I’ve done to devote my attention to my situation, I was put on hold to pause and listen to the story of a friend. While seated at my dining table my friend talked about how tired she was. She has been in a straight commission job with a lot of expenses associated with it in an industry that has slowed way down the past 3 years. Her father-in-law is in his 80′s and he has lived with her and her husband for the past year, since her mother-in-law passed away. Her father-in-law is elderly, bitter, and full of negativity. My friend tries to please him constantly, but he’s never appreciative. She was kind of venting and I was doing my best to be there to just listen. My friend then started explaining the circumstances surrounding the passing of her mother-in-law. It came with no warning and took place in her home. Her mother-in-law wasn’t feeling well and her husband--in his usual self--said she’d be okay and that she shouldn’t go to the hospital. Well, my friend was really concerned so she took charge and said that she was going to take her to the hospital and that no one could stop her. They proceeded to walk to the front porch, when her mother-in-law paused for a moment to rest. My friend said that she saw her and saw this glowing light surrounding her. My friend asked her if she wanted to go back inside and have something to eat. Her mother-in-law said yes, that she would appreciate some food. She asked for a bowl of noodles and said she was going back upstairs to rest. My friend lovingly prepared the bowl of noodles and took it upstairs, only to find that her mother-in-law had passed away. It’s at this point that my friend tells me that she had no feeling. The only thought in her mind was how she was going to pay for her mother-in-law’s funeral since they didn’t even have money to put gas in their car? After hearing this, I just kept listening. A few days after her mother-in-law passed away my friend made a big sale and had more than enough to pay for her mother-in-law’s funeral. She was then convicted by her thoughts about finances when she should have overcome those worries and felt more compassionate or mournful.

I am reminded of my own experience with my mother. She was admitted to the hospital even though she didn’t want to go. The doctors thought she had pancreatitis. They gave her some antibiotics and my mom seemed to be recovering. For three days all she kept talking about was getting discharged so she could come home with me and eat a bowl of noodles. Every other word out of her mouth was noodles. Know that Japanese noodles are one of the most basic things I know how to cook, but one of the things that my mom appreciated most from my kitchen. She just raved about the noodle broth I made from scratch. I couldn’t wait to make her happy with some comfort food. During her last night in the hospital (The doctor was releasing her to go home the next morning) something happened and her condition got dramatically worse. She went into the ICU and two weeks later she passed away. She was diagnosed with cepsis, which is an infection in her blood stream and it is incurable. She was under heavy sedation and never was coherent during her last two weeks. It was probably the most painful experience I ever had in my life. I’m actually weeping as I type this. Not only had I lost my mother, but being raised to be an atheist and only having been able to share my belief in God and relationship with Christ for a short time before she passed away, I never heard my mom profess her faith in Christ. I had to consider the possible fact that my mom may have passed away from this life and is now eternally separated from the God I had devoted my life to. I wondered what else I could have done. I prayed and prayed and prayed that God called her to him so that we could be reunited in heaven one day. I was like a walking dead person. It was if my life had been sucked out of my body.

In the end, I never doubted God and sought comfort in his Word. I trust God completely with my life. My faith, through all that I have endured in my brief time in his kingdom, I have never wavered on that. Just as my friend had to come to terms with the fact that God will provide for her if she releases that worry to Jesus and becomes more concerned about loving others first, I learned a hard lesson as well. I have realized in the face of such tragedies as we’ve seen in Haiti and the tragedy of losing my mom unexpectedly that I have to continue to put my faith and trust in God. Whether my mom is with him or not, I have to trust that his plan is based on love, yet he is a just God and that all will have to face a final day of judgment. Deep down in my heart I do believe that God has chosen to call my entire household even if I don’t hear them verbally profess Christ as Lord and Savior. He’s given me a chance to do that in my daughters, whom I raised to atheists as well. Now as I step out in what I believe to be obedience, and move to a new state to connect with a new community of people, I have to trust that God will make a way to remove the 700 mile barrier between Beaverton, OR and Sacramento, CA so that I may one day celebrate the calling of Christ in the hearts of my daughters.

In a complicated, inner-connected tale of two people with moms that wanted noodles before they passed away, to trusting God for finances and protection when we can’t see in our human minds how it will be possible, to learning a life lesson and trying to act on it in ways with those in our families whom God has given us more time with on earth, I just can’t believe that any of this was mere coincidence. I’m believing that as frightened as I am--that I am leaving my daughters at a time when Christ’s love in me can be used to influence my daughter’s hearts--that my God is in control of all that is good and that he will make a way to see my daughters know him in their hearts, eternally. That as insane as this may seem to you(Yes, it seems insane to me too!), God is calling me to take my story and share with a community of people that don’t have neighbors or coworkers that can give such testimonies to the strength and faith and peace that can only be known in having Christ reside in our hearts. Today I’m putting my faith and trust in this promise:

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” --Mark 10:29-31 NIV

Will you stand with me and help me continue pursuing the call on my life by partnering with us in The Latte Challenge?

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