For whatever reason it seems like my life has constantly revolved around one key theme: Change! My life as a child growing up with my parents was really consistent, but the minute I moved out to my own place at the age of 19, it seems that things are never constant. As much as I dislike chaos, I have to admit that there are aspects of it that suit my nature. I get bored easily and if I’m not being active in something, it eventually starts to kill me inside. I’m kind of an extreme person, either all in or all out. Working in the middle is hard for me to maintain.
When one talks about change, yet doesn’t embrace it, in the end they don’t experience the joys of change. Yes, I believe that there can be great joy found in change. Too often we get comfortable--even when it involves pain--and we see things change around us yet are stuck in the same place. Change scares me, yet at the same time it excites me. However, change for the sake of change doesn’t make sense to me. There must be either something positive or something negative that results in change. You can’t experience change and end up the same. I know, because all I’ve ever known was change. It’s like a cause-and-effect situation.
When I encounter change, I too must change. Whether it’s for better or worse, I need change in order to be changed. It’s my life cycle. I find it rooted in my relationship with Christ. He changed me so that I would never be the same. Even my actions, if repeated, are not exactly the same. My heart…mind…soul…have been transformed. I can never be the same. I choose to embrace change and find renewal in it. In my heart is repentance, yet I am not sure why. I must embrace it.
Father God, I am not sure why I feel this way today, but please show me how I have been trying to live apart from you. Bring me clarity to my ever-changing surroundings and situations and draw me closer to you. Show me how to embrace this change with the passion and enthusiasm that Christ has in me as I am led to seek your will for my life. I want to embrace this new change, but I feel misplaced somehow. Thank you Lord for surrounding me with some wonderful, supportive friends that share their love for me without conditions. I am who I am because of who you have brought into my life. I know I need a change and that I need to change. Please help me get through this time and share your wisdom with me for this new season. Show me what I need to turn away from so that I may know your peace. In the name of Christ Jesus, amen.
