Asian-American


15
Dec 09

Living the lie

We all tell the world that we value truth. We say that we not only want to speak the truth, but that we want others to speak the truth to us. In the end, you want to speak the truth and hope that no one will be bold enough to speak the truth back to you. Why? Because you are a phony!

    [I'm sorry if I offended you, but it is my blog and therefore my truth. However, after hearing me out, I do encourage you to speak your truth back to me in the comments section below.]

Take a moment to stop and ask yourself a question: Are you really representing your thoughts honestly to others? In other words, are their times in church when you will raise your hand and stand for God, yet in the office you say nothing?

“If we endure hardship,
we will reign with him.
If we deny him,
he will deny us.” — 2 Timothy 2:12 NLT

Do you find yourself telling people “yes” when you wanted to tell them “no”?

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” –Matthew 5:37 NIV

Why do we profess to living a life of truth, yet we ultimately find ourselves in lies?

For me, it’s not just simply saying “yes” to something I wanted to say “no” to. For me, it goes much deeper than that. In my world, I am what’s referred to as the twinkie: yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I have lived the life of being an Asian-American trying hard to assimilate in a world of the white majority. It’s not who I am; it’s not who God created me to be. It was a lie I was living in order to fit into a world that was comfortable with the majority. I was deceived because it never felt like a lie, until some people spoke truth into my life and caused me to see it for what it was.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not some Malcolm X and I don’t see to have the majority world view. I’m simply feeling compelled to let my words and actions represent who I am, rather than who I want you to think I am. Worse would be if I distort the truth to be who you think I should be.

Something is being changed deep within me. I can’t just come to learn this truth in my life and passively wait for it to come to the surface. My environment must change, my friends must change, my lifestyle must change if I am to honor this. I do sense these changes coming — how and when I do not know — but they are coming and I know in my heart that I am not a twinkie. My inside should be reflected on the outside, and my inside isn’t white. I have suppressed a lot of emotion and pain. I have lived a confused (and confusing) life at times. It hasn’t been who I was created to be, and with the help of my Creator I hope to let you all get to know me for who I am, not who you want me to be. I can’t live that lie anymore.

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23
Nov 09

Confused about Deadly Viper shutting down? Me too!

picture-1Something so simple has turned into something so divisive. I get it, but I don’t like it! People within Asian-American culture are divided in some aspects and people of the predominant white American culture are divided as well.

The initial intent of the discussion regarding the marketing/packaging of Deadly Viper Character Assassins was to make known how this was insensitive to Asian-American culture. It was to help stop the perpetual pain of Orientalism and respect our culture in a relevant context. However, the way the situation has been handled has continued to bring about pain. However, now it’s not just the Asian-American community, but it is also the culture of fans of the Deadly Viper Character Assassins book. Where’s the intelligence in that?

From day one the biggest misstep in all of this has been communication. Unfortunately, for those of you looking to blame Asian-Americans for being at fault you are completely wrong. Gross errors in communication have occurred on both sides. Some communication has taken place, but it’s been inappropriate in many instances.

The latest communication error in my opinion is in the way Mike Foster & Jud Wilhite have emerged as the victims. If you go to their website, deadlyviper.org all you’ll find is this note:

To our Friends and Family:

Due to an unfortunate conflict that arose around our use of Asian American themes, we have decided to close this chapter of Deadly Viper Character Assassins. This decision has been a very difficult one for us and one that we did not take lightly.

For the past 2 years we have had the honor to be part of an incredible movement of advocating for radical integrity and grace. We have been deeply humbled hearing your stories of how Deadly Viper has impacted your life, family, and relationships.

We and our team will continue to commit our lives to the message of integrity, grace, and most of all becoming People Of The Second Chance.

We thank you for your prayers, support, and kindness through this season.

We love you.

Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite

At a glance, this seems reasonable. However, I get red flags from just the first sentence:

Due to an unfortunate conflict that arose around our use of Asian American themes, we have decided to close this chapter of Deadly Viper Character Assassins.

The reason I have an issue with this is because it solely places blame on Asian-Americans as the reason why the website was shut down. First of all, lets get something straight. When you come out initially and say that you used Asian imagery in the promotion of the book not realizing that it would be deemed insensitive and that out of respect to the error you are withdrawing the Asian themes from your website and other media how can that now be expressed as an “unfortunate conflict?” In reality, the “unfortunate” aspect of this whole fiasco was using the imagery in a non-relevant way in the first place. Know that because I found the wording of the letter to be unfortunate, I reached out to Mike Foster and asked if he’d take a few minutes to converse with me about why he chose those words. We have several mutual friends, but none of the channels I operated through (both direct & in-direct) worked and I never received a response from him. In my opinion, shutting down everything and not explaining it in better words has caused confusion and resentment. It’s being viewed by many as a passive-aggressive action that really is uncalled for if the intent really is to better-understand the issue and reach out to those that were offended.

Secondly, the final word on the matter on deadlyviper.org is that the total shutdown of their work was in direct response to the conflict with the Asian-American community. For whatever reason people haven’t gotten this so far, let me clarify it for you as simply and as succinctly as I can: No one in the Asian-American community attacked Mike Foster or Jud Wilhite personally. Most of us went out of our way to preface our comments by saying that we respected and appreciated Foster & Wilhite and their ministries (a few examples from: me, Eugene Cho, David Park, Laurence Tom, Daniel So). Yes, many Asian-Americans felt hurt by the insensitive use of the Asian imagery in the book, but it was never compared to the other ministry of Deadly Viper. Ultimately the issue was placed on Zondervan to withdraw the book in its current form and re-release it with the insensitive materials removed. Zondervan responded by agreeing to swiftly remove the book from stores. So, when deadlyviper.org gets unexpectedly shutdown, most of us in the Asian-American community are scratching our heads just like the fans of Deadly Viper. None of us had issues with the Man Cave sessions, the blog, or any of the other ministries launched from that site. Those could have continued on without any feedback from those offended by the packaging of the book. So, to blame Asian-Americans for seeing the site taken down was something I see as an attempt to increase the divisiveness and make it an “us against them” issue which it was never intended to be. In fact, one of the amazing things I got to witness by being at The Idea Camp in Portland, OR this past weekend was seeing Eugene Cho, one of the guys invited into the discussion with Zondervan, wearing a People Of The Second Chance shirt on stage. He never once commented on the issue, but his shirt spoke volumes as to how his issue was never with Mike Foster or Jud Wilhite personally.

As I wrote in a previous blog post, the issue isn’t really just the use of Asian imagery being used inappropriately to market and package a book. It’s about a deeper issue of racial insensitivity that has continued for generations because Asian-Americans just quietly deal with it. A generation is finally coming forward to say that it’s wrong and the heart of the matter needs to be addressed. We’re not looking for our Rosa Parks or organizing boycotts or anything like that. We’re simply asking to be respected for our cultural diversity and our relevance in society. None of us are demanding equality or favoritism. However, each one of us looking at how this has escalated have all either thought or expressed how something like this in the context of an African-American issue would have never happened. First, proper precautions would have been taken to make sure it wasn’t deemed offensive to the African-American community, but even of greater importance is that it would have never even been pitched in the first place. Had it flown through all the checkpoints and actually been published, it would have caused an uproar and not only would books have been pulled, but amends would have been swift and apologetic and hands would have been outstretched to heal the pain caused to the African-American community. We would have all expected to see that happen. However, when it comes up in an Asian-American context, many in the predominant American culture have wondered what the big deal was all about.

I’m not here to assassinate anyone’s character or judge them for being racists. However, this whole incident has had racist undertones for some and it had triggered an angry response both by those on the offensive and defensive sides. Regardless of how things have transpired, if you harbor ill-will towards the Asian-American community for causing the beloved Deadly Viper to come crashing to its knees, you’d better look elsewhere because we don’t deserve that criticism.

I’ve been seeing a lot of promotion for another ministry of Mike & Jud: People Of The Second Chance. Unfortunately, details for that were taken down along with the Deadly Viper stuff so I can’t link to any of it, but it’s an awesome work full of grace and extending open hands to people. If more of what was behind that ministry was exemplified in the Deadly Viper issue, things would not have escalated and misunderstandings would have been quickly squashed.

We in the Asian-American community just want to see some ongoing dialog of reconciliation occur. We’re not interested in drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves, nor are we out to win any fights. We have a story and a history in your nation and in all honesty, it’s you who miss out when you are indifferent to that. As my friend Charles Lee tweeted recently, “Reconciliation is better than closure.” May it be reconciliation that is declared the winner someday in all of this.

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18
Nov 09

If Francis Chan is a sellout, I have no clue why

Long before the whole incident of the Deadly Viper/Zondervan use of Asian culture to promote a book arose, there was a lengthy dialog from the Next Gener.Asian Church blog about how white evangelicals were using Francis Chan because he was a safe spokesperson from the Asian-American ministerial community that would relate to a broad audience. It was titled: Is Francis Chan a sell-out? At the time of this writing, there are 162 comments in reply to that post and more are added each week. It’s a polarizing issue and one that is totally misunderstood. Due to some recent events, it seems that this conversation has taken on a new life and either people are voicing their opinions or left on the sidelines scratching there heads in confusion. If Francis Chan is an Asian-American pastor and his messages don’t have much relevance to his being Asian, how can that be bad? Should there be a Chinese gospel along side a Caucasian/Anglo one? Weren’t we all called to be part of one church anyway? Some people are looking upon the Asian-American Christian community as one that wants to be segregated and appearing to be somewhat elitist.

I’m kind of in the middle on the whole issue–I understand both sides, yet I’m not quite sure I have the answer to build unity on the matter. However, maybe my perspective will help some gain more understanding the heart of the matter.

If you are a white evangelical, a lot of this will probably resonate with you:

  1. It’s not about what we want, but it’s about who God sends to our church. God builds the church, not us.
  2. While we may be white, we are open to people of all races coming in to worship together with us. Not only are we open, but we encourage people of other cultures to join us!
  3. There should be no Black church, White church, Asian church, Latino church–there should just be one church as we are all one in Christ.

In actuality, there are some in the Asian-American evangelical church that would agree with all three of the above-points as well. However, there is a bit of a different perspective that is predominant within Asian-American Christians. Unfortunately, many within the Asian-American community can’t quite place their finger on it or even understand there is an issue.

The perspective from the Asian-American evangelical is like this:

  1. I grew up in a (Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese, etc) church that had services for my parents in (Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese, etc.) and services for me in English. Often times the English services were presided over by a Caucasian pastor who spoke English well, but didn’t really understand the (Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese, etc.) culture I was raised in. My friends aren’t Asian, my neighbors aren’t Asian and I want to go to church with them somewhere that isn’t (Chinese/Korean/Vietnamese, etc.)
  2. When in a predominantly Caucasian church service, I feel like I don’t fit in. I’m not connecting beyond a surface level with others in the church.
  3. I don’t embrace all of the culture forced upon at my parent’s church, yet I don’t feel like I get any culture from the predominantly-Caucasian church.

On an even deeper level, some Asian-American Christians struggle with their identity. They don’t quite know how to feel about being Asian. Are they to look past their cultural heritage and integrate with everyone else disregarding why God birthed them as Asians or is there some relevance they should appreciate by being birthed by God as Asians?

When someone says, “I don’t see color, I just see people. When I look at you Dave, I don’t see someone who is Asian. I just see you as Dave.” I think that’s great. However, what you fail to realize is that you just discredited my cultural heritage. I’m not just like you. Even though we may think and speak in a similar manner, we don’t have similar stories. If you are white growing up in America, you can never really know what it’s like being Asian growing up in America. Racism aside, imagine what it’s like growing up with the pressure to be smarter than the average student. There is a stereotype that Asians are smart and they become accountants and engineers. Not only is there pressure from Asian parents to excel in school, but there is pressure to stay in school and at least obtain a master’s degree. I can understand how some non-Asian people will tell me how they had similar pressure to excel in school, but it’s just not the same. I can’t tell you how many times I have been introduced to people that aren’t Asian and the first thing they ask me is what I do for a living, then they ask me what school I went to. When I tell them what I do (and it’s not being an accountant or engineer) and when they ask me where I went to school and I tell them I did 2 years part-time at a community college and went to seminary when I was 38, they usually walk away from the conversation confused. They spent time trying to quickly assess me before asking the questions, yet my answers were unexpected. At the heart of the matter is whether they would ask me what I do and where I went to school if I weren’t Asian.

So, being deemed too smart and a geek by white students, yet not smart enough for the Asian students is not a very comforting place to be. It leads to conflict and some resentment over who we are.

Another problem is in how we as Asian-Americans represent ourselves. Why should non-Asians really be cautious over what they say or what they find humorous if Asians say and laugh at the same things? Isn’t that hypocritical? In short, yes it is. When there are people like Bobby Lee of MadTv mocking Asians for the sake of getting a laugh, it absolutely sends a confusing message to non-Asians. Unfortunately, for some that aspire to be actors or comedians, perpetuating stereotypes is the only way they can get work. Some Asians don’t even understand how wrong it is to perpetuate the stereotypes and connotations of playing up being Oriental.

As an Asian-American, does Francis Chan have a responsibility to be some super-Asian and season every statement he makes with an Asian perspective? Not at all! From Francis’ perspective, he is doing what is right for him and his messages connect with lots of people. However, at the same time, should Francis Chan operate in circles of influence that only care about his Asian appearance rather than his Asian cultural perspective? No, I don’t think he should. As an Asian-American Christian, I think he does have some responsibility to other Asians. He may speak the language of white evangelicals, but at the same time he obviously doesn’t look like a white evangelical. There is a reason for that. Chan is Asian-American and is gaining respect in the white evangelical church, yet he isn’t white. This has to have some meaning and can’t be equated as just some random thing. It’s similar to Obama’s presidency. We all pat each other on the back and the world stands and applauds us for voting in a black president. However, our expectation is that he is black in appearance only, not in a cultural context. President Clinton went to McDonald’s and was criticized and stereotyped as a result. Imagine if President Obama went to KFC on a regular basis. Even though you may explain to me how you aren’t prejudice or racist and that you see Obama as just another president, I know that your mind wandered into a place of stereotype as you envisioned Obama eating at KFC. It’s the same reason why if Obama plays basketball you’re okay with it, but if he played basketball poorly you’d question it. Stereotypes are difficult to overcome. They wreak havoc on our perceptions even on subconscious levels. As much as we as non-black Americans see in these stereotypes, how do you think black Americans feel? They see Obama as a sign of hope and change. That a black person can be elected president and ultimately bring some respect to African-Americans. They expect that he will represent them in some way that someone like myself couldn’t. In the same way, there is some expectation that Francis Chan will use his opportunities to lend a voice for the voiceless Asian-Americans who deal with conflict and self-esteem issues and feel out of place in the church. In an extreme sense, just as pop culture and Hollywood exploit people like Bobby Lee on MadTv to show some diversity on the set, the white evangelical church can exploit Francis Chan for the sake of claiming some diversity in the pulpit.

In the end, those of us that are Asian-Americans don’t have a unified philosophy on racism, prejudice, stereotypes or exploitation. Some of us (Asian-Americans) laugh at skits that remind us of the days of being an Oriental in a white land because we never lived through that pain and accepted environment oppression. Some of us Asian-Americans use our Chinese voice and squint our eyes and make fun of parents to our white friends because they don’t know what it’s like to be physically threatened because we as Asians were caught talking to a white girl on campus. Yes, some of us Asian-Americans can be insensitive to those that have walked before us because we feel we are above the racism so much so that we can laugh at stuff just like our white friends. In the end, it’s this passive perpetuation of stereotypes that fuels non-Asians to make the same jokes, pull at their eye lids and make the buck teeth while putting on thick coke bottle glasses, say things like “Heh-rro!” in a room full of Asians and expect to get a laugh.

Just so you know, I am an American first. I love my country and am willing to defend her. However, God created me for a reason and I am called to live my journey as a guy born in Japan and brought to California to live amongst a diverse group of people and find my own identity in Christ. It must have some perspective of my culture otherwise my story which begins with being born in Japan is insignificant and irrelevant. If that were to be true, then why are there so many nations of varying cultures on Earth? Why not just be one continent with one people? Even in the Bible we see people of different nations all playing a role. Some positive, some not so positive, but they all are important in the context of entire story. Even Moses was created by God to be extracted from his land and placed into the culture of Egypt, only to be reunited with the people of Israel and lead them to the promised land. His culture was of great importance in the greater context. Mine isn’t to be considered on the same magnitude, but it is still significant in some small way. I am a child of God with a Japanese perspective and heritage living in America. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

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5
Nov 09

Don’t disrespect me because I’m Asian!

Personal Tidbit: I rarely feel like I have much of a voice when it comes to being an Asian-American Christian or especially, when it comes to practical ministry to Asian-Americans. However, whenever I blog about such things, I get the most readership and the most feedback to the posts. Interesting!

So, here is another post on an aspect of being Asian-American. However, this time I have to chime in and say I feel like I have a lot to speak to on the issue regarding the controversy between the guys at Deadly Viper and Soong-Chan Rah. If you haven’t heard enough about the issue already, you can read the initial blog posts that started the controversy: Soong-Chan Rah’s post is here; Deadly Viper’s post was taken down yesterday, but you can see a follow-up here.

Let me start by saying I’m not here to criticize or judge anyone. I think enough has been said based on too-little information *and* too much assumption already. The fact-of-the-matter is that I truly believe that had all parties involved taken the issue seriously and worked toward solutions from the beginning, rather than being defensive this would have all been alleviated. Taking it privately where real understanding and reconciliation could emerge rather than making it public, thus drawing attention to themselves. So, I’m not adding fuel to the fire through using a public forum to call people out. Instead, I ask that we take a look at the deeper issue. The escalation was just the byproduct of the underlying issue that hasn’t really been brought to the surface yet. That is, that understanding the context of Asian-Americans in a predominantly white (western, Anglo, Caucasian) culture is excruciatingly difficult, yet important.

To Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite, I know you guys from your time with my class at Londen Institute in Corona, CA. Especially in the case of Jud, I have seen integrity and leadership revealed in a stripped down way that was incredibly humbling and eye opening for me as a seminary student with no real practical ministry experience beforehand. I know Pastor Wilhite is an amazing man of God, full of grace and that he gets the gospel of Christ on many levels as he reaches out to the marginalized and forgotten people in Las Vegas. As for Mike Foster, I sense his grace and heart for people in everything he does. His ministry work speaks for itself. However, with that said, there is one more thing I must add. Neither Jud, nor Mike can stake claim to knowing what it’s like to be Asian in America. In addition to that, I don’t think they care to know. In fact, I don’t think many Caucasian-Americans really care to know. There is just an incredible amount of indifference by white America when it comes to this subject.

As for Soong-Chan Rah, I do not know him or know much about him. However, I read and studied his book The Next Evangelicalism: Freeing the Church From Western Cultural Captivity and found it to be a great work that expressed many thoughts I resonate with. Professor Rah seems to be man of integrity and kingdom mindedness as well. However, I don’t think Rah can claim that he knows what it’s like to be a white person living in a world of mixed cultures where the slightest mis-step can lead to one being labeled a racist. Living in a world of political correctness where seconds after making a statement, social media blasts it all over the world for the judging public to chime in can be quite intimidating (and nauseating!).

You see, we can attack some white guys that appear to have used some Asian aspects to add a cool factor in marketing their book to a white consumer and give them a piece of our mind. Interestingly enough, there were quite a few non-Asians speaking about the offensiveness of the packaging/branding of the book. However, is that really the issue? It’s what’s behind the packaging that is the issue. Unfortunately, we Asians haven’t had a loud voice in America and it has hurt us in being identified as a relevant culture in the United States. Blacks took a stand and made their voice known. Even today we are talking about repression and reparation for slavery in America hundreds of years ago. We are censored in our use of the n-word and how we portray African-Americans publicly in the media. However, the same cannot be said for Asian-Americans. Being born in Japan and moving to California when I was 4 years old, my ancestry is obviously Japanese. However, one of the great injustices in the history of America was when Japanese people lived in the United States in the 1940′s, spoke clear & fluent English, worked hard to live the American dream, pledged allegiance to the American flag and wanted to serve in the US military against Japan in WWII, yet families were separated by the US government and forced into internment camps and their land was taken away. Years later when the war ended, they were released with no restitution and in most cases, no land to come home to. As unjust, unfair and irrational as that act was, did you hear any Japanese people complain about it? In some cases, some of you didn’t even know this injustice took place. And, if you did, it isn’t a burden to you to see this resolved and mad right 50 years later. No, we Asians just tend to shut up and assimilate, work with the hand we are dealt with and be happy that we live in the land of (supposed) opportunity.

Please know that I am not bitter or angry. Just because an injustice to my ancestors wasn’t made right, doesn’t mean that I won’t stand in the name of justice for others. All I’m saying is that what happened to Japanese-Americans back in WWII is an example of how we Asians tend to deal with things. I think white America takes this for granted. It’s a shame actually, because as the world becomes multi-cultural it seems to be seeking to become more Eastern. Religion, design, food, etc. With all of the Asian influences visible in the U.S. today, it is still so lacking because the culture it comes from is never really associated with it. It has been taken over and Americanized. You are getting bits and pieces of Asian culture, but mostly out of context and that is a problem. When we Asians come into the United States, we’re expected to dress like you, speak English like you, worship God like you, think like you. It’s as if it’s such a privilege to share your land, that we must do it on your terms. You take from us and put it into your context of living, yet never really give us the respect or credit. To you, being just like you is our greatest reward.

Know that while you may choose to live disrespecting other cultures that are not your own, at some point Asians and other minority groups will take a stand against it. You won’t understand why it happened and you’ll think we’re making a big deal out of nothing. What you don’t know is that when you say you look at me and see just another person, you are saying you see me as you see other *white* people. Think that’s an unfair statement to make? Then ask yourself this question: How much do you know about my Asian culture and perspective? How important is it for you to take the time to listen to what I bring to the table as an Asian-American? In reality, the answer is that you really don’t care, because you just want to see me as one-of-the-guys. I am one-of-the-guys, but my eyes don’t look like yours and they don’t see things exactly the same as yours. There is a reason for that. You can say I’m making a big deal out of nothing, or you can ask God why he birthed me in Japan to Japanese parents who gave me up for adoption and put me with my adoptive parents who moved me to the United States. If I were to live life like a Caucasian-American, I should have been born here like you and made to look just like you. I was definitely created to live as an American–that I am proud of and I appreciate my opportunities as an American, but my perspective as an Asian is important…it is relevant…it is worth your knowing about. This is the greater tragedy that I as an Asian-American have faced my entire life. It is complex, it can be confusing at times–even we as Asian-Americans don’t see things the same way. In the end, we are all unique and one of the things that distinguishes me from others is my cultural identity + my own personal life experiences. I am clothed in Christ, but that clothing consists of many layers.

In the end, you may perceive me as irrelevant because I have less than 100 blog readers and as a people group, we (Asian-Americans) don’t make or break your profit margins as a publishing house or corporation. However, know that one day that will change. I won’t be the one causing a revolution, but I will be the one that has stood here with my open hand reached out to you and inviting you into my world, just as you have been gracious enough to invite me into yours. Your indifference to me is more disrespectful than you know, but I’m not one to call you out on it. Instead, my hand is open and my arm outstretched. I’m here to join in conversation and relationship with you based on mutual respect and grace anytime.

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5
Jun 09

Asian-American Christians, part 3: Who Am I In Christ?

While reading a follow-up comment from Daniel So regarding my previous blog post, I was reminded of the larger conversation going around within Asian-American ministry circles. Daniel wrote:

As the NG.AC [nextgenerasianchurch.com] thread shows, many Asian American followers of Christ struggle with figuring out their identity (myself included). That’s part of why I have been *loving* Dave Gibbons’ “The Monkey & the Fish” — I think third culture could transform many insular communities (Asian, Caucasian, whoever!) into Kingdom-minded movements. Embrace who God made us to be (including our ethnic identity) and leverage all of that for the Kingdom!

asian-jesus1I’m all for leveraging all things for the kingdom of God! However, I’m confused at the whole idea of having an identity as an Asian-American in Christ being separate from my overall identity within Christ. I’ve been involved in dialog with many other Asian-American’s that truly believe that there is a cultural context to their Christianity and that it is lacking within the 2nd & 3rd generation Asian-American body of Christ. That Asian ethno-centric churches will have a solid ministry to 1st generation people from Korea, Vietnam and China yet bring in non-Asians to lead english language ministries for the 2nd & 3rd generation therefore disengaging from their Asian culture and supplanting them within a Caucasian America culture. Thus, they lose their identity and wander around confused and feel out of place.

This concept of being lost confuses me because I personally do not feel as if my place is in an exclusive Asian-American setting. I am comfortable gathering with others to worship when they are mostly Caucasian or mostly African-American. I have experience in both settings. In actuality, to have a fusion of these two experiences would cause me to feel right at home. I appreciate the enthusiasm, the call-and-response, and most of all the gospel music that I’ve worshiped to in some African-American churches. At the same time, I embrace the desire for the Caucasian church in America to see more diversity within their congregations.

I must admit that I have struggled with trying to decipher the hidden meaning of my being an Asian-American Christian and how I must relate this to a greater culture and subculture of people that see me as Asian first, Christian second. I’ve heard the old cliche that since I am Asian, I am likely to draw Asians as congregants within our church. I actually rebelled against that notion as it just never sat right with me. My city is integrated, my neighborhood is diverse, my workplace has been an equal opportunity employer–why then must I now take my Christianity on Sunday and cause it to be relevant to just Asian-Americans? In fact, Francis Chan who is Chinese has a mostly Caucasian membership at Cornerstone Church in California and Tim Keller who is Caucasian has a mostly Asian-American membership at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York. The shoe obviously doesn’t fit the way some people would like it to.

If I minister to people of various ethnicities and do not cite examples specific to Asians in my messages, does this make me less of an Asian? Will it cause me to question who I am in Christ because I am not being true to my Asian heritage? I really don’t see how this is going to happen. It’s possible I am the only exception to this, but I highly doubt it.

However, let me say something in regards to others that may feel confused or out of place. After having discussions with DJ Chuang, whom I respect greatly because he has examples and experiences from within the Asian context and outside of it as well, I do agree that there are some that have trouble understanding who they are and how they fit in. Often times, it causes Asian-Americans to wander around and look to identify with a body of Christ in some form outside of the ethno-centric church and going back-and-forth in a kind of tug o’ war battle between churches pulling at them to connect. The Caucasian church wants to be multi-cultural, while the ethno-centric church wants to retain people of their heritage for generations to come. In my opinion, the issue of ministry more-so than individual Christianity is the issue. I think we as the church–ethno-centric, white American, or multi-cultural–have caused confusion as we fight to gain believers for the sake of carrying out our human wills. Just as there were many cultures and nations represented on the day of Pentecost when 3,000 came to repent and be saved by the grace of Christ Jesus, I believe the church should be represented in the same way today. If we started looking at how we could be unified, rather than how we can do a better job of being segregated, I think God would move in ways we cannot even imagine.

If you are someone with a sort of identity crisis because of who you are, I’d really appreciate having a chance to see how this affects you and your faith. I ask humbly because while I know this is an issue for you, I don’t quite understand it or know how to minister to you because of it.

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