The title is in reference to my friend Jon Reid‘s blog of the same title. In particular, it has to do with this post: “and” (Philippians 1:1 lectio) and Jon’s reply to my comment on that post. I’m sure my takeaway from Jon’s post was different than his thoughts that went into writing the content, but it struck me pretty hard in my own way. You see, I’ve been wandering around here in Portland, OR for the past six months feeling alone and like a stranger in a strange place. No matter what I do, I just feel unsettled here. During a tokbox video chat with my friend Josh Roberts, I found myself unexpectedly going off on a rant about pastoral leadership and how I felt there was a breakdown in pastors caring for and mentoring leaders within their churches. So many people are leaving the ministry and embracing life in roles as speakers, authors, coaches…you name it. They are abandoning the church. It saddens me. So many people are falling away from their roles as servant leaders because of feeling burned out or just going through the motions. They have lost their passion and have become unsupported for their callings. This saddens me as well.
During my rant I told Josh that it was just what was in my mind at the time of our conversation. He insists that it was more than that. He told me it was a burden on my heart. I never thought about it before as a burden, but from that moment on I’ve thought about what he said. Is it a burden? Must I respond?
Feeling lost and alone here in Portland, I too have removed myself from any formal ministry role. I’ve been working up to 12 hours a day, coming home around 9:30pm and even working Sunday mornings until 9:30pm sometimes. I’ve been okay with that up until that tokbox conversation with my friend Josh. I hadn’t really thought about acting on it much until I read the post from my friend Jon. Jon wrote in his blog post:
“I haven’t had either a Paul or a Timothy in my life for many years now, and it shows. ++Lord, send me a Paul. Send me a Timothy.++”
This crushed me. My heart went out to Jon. I know his pain and anguish. I hope for what he hopes for. We need people to have a burden on their hearts to help equip and encourage others. We need people like the Apostle Paul to pass along his encouragement and training to people like Timothy. It must be a continual cycle of renewal. Somehow we have lost this mentoring relationship. I feel I must get back into this, even at an informal level. I may not be the designated leader in a community at the moment, but I have a burden to give back to those who want to receive and encourage those that just need a little boost.
While I could always just go do this, I feel like there must be more to it than that. A community, a network, a fellowship… something bigger than myself must be the result.
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That is powerful stuff there Dave.
Honestly I feel right there with you. Don’t want this to be a time of complaining or a time of bitterness because we do not have a “paul” in our lives, but I feel the burden that you speak of and that Jon was talking about.
You know from our previous conversations my story and what God has placed on my heart (and on yours). This is a huge need. Coaching networks and conferences are great, but unfortunately those do not last nor do they continue day in and day out. I think that personal connection of a mentor and mentoree is something that last and has a lasting impact.
I have been in a spot for the past 8 months now of being mentored but learning and listening more and more. The conversation has not stopped and needs to continue.
Kyle, I definitely agree that we shouldn’t be complaining about a lack of resources (mentoring), but I do believe that when equipped we should exercise our ability to replicate ourselves and give more than we receive. Watching people move up in ministry only to see them flame out kills me. The same when I watch people leaving the ministry to pursue other opportunities outside of the church. Not that leaving the church to pursue other things is bad, but I for one choose to acknowledge that it’s leaving a void. Somehow I hope to figure out how I can do my best to fill that void and empower and encourage others to explore their leadership abilities within ministry.
Good to hear that you are in a mentor-mentee relationship that is working well for you. I appreciate your pursuit of seeing something done to develop more mentors! Thanks Kyle.
Amen brother! Always here for you, hope you know that!
Brett, you are not just here for me…you are here for others too and that is what I really appreciate about you! Thanks Brett.
Thank you for sharing your heart Dave. Powerful confession that puts words on the way that i suspect a lot of us feel.
In my experience, I’ve found that I must actively seek out “Paul” and “Barnabas,” especially as a man. I don’t naturally gravitate in the direction of intimacy, honesty, community. These things seem foreign and aloof to me. I gravitate towards isolation, privacy, and the Alone.
CS Lewis rightly said, “to love is to be vulnerable…” and sharing our deep hearts with other men does not come naturally. But it is rewarding, and desperately needed.
John, thanks for sharing! I appreciate all you do for the sake of seeing others mentored. You’re awesome!
For reasons I won’t get into here I find myself once again without a church home. Not that there are a shortage of good churches in the area, I just don’t feel connected to any of them. I was in a great Bible study at the “newest” church but due to schedule conflicts the Bible study was canceled. It was the strongest connection I had to that church.
I am blessed to have a supportive wife. But beyond that my friendships are few. Good friendships even fewer.
I don’t like not being a part of a Christian community. Yet finding a true fit is so hard.
For me, because of where I’ve been, things like
-musical style
-musical variety
-children’s programs
-Bible based teaching
-etc
all take second place to finding a church with leadership with character and integrity. I’ve listened to Charles Swindoll preach on “A ministry anyone could trust” and wow, I see why I left a particular church.
But it’s not just the leadership that needs accountability, integrity, and character. It’s all of us.
If you want your church to be better, look in the mirror (the Bible) and start there.
(I say this to myself as well.)
Thanks for letting me scribble a bit on your blog. At 2 AM I never know what is going to come out of my head.