I kinda scared a lot of people last night, including my wife. It was unintentional, but it happened just the same. For that, I apologize. I had what seemed like symptoms of a heart attack or stroke. I tweeted about it and was overwhelmed by responses telling me to go to the emergency room. So many stories came in of people that had gone through having a loved one impacted by heart attack and stroke. I was concerned over my symptoms, but not really. I can’t explain why, but I chose not to go to the hospital. It could have been a mild heart attack or stroke which has left me feeling okay for now, yet already done some damage. I guess I need to go to a doctor at some point and get checked out.
As strange as this may seem, as I was resting last night this phrase kept going through my head. I first learned of this phrase because a friend of mine uses “myheartbeeps” in her email address. I’m not exactly sure why, but I’m guessing it has something to do with Invisible Children. For me though, rather than be concerned for my health, I just kept hearing this phrase over and over in my mind…my heart beeps, my heart beeps, my heart beeps. I still have no idea why.
I think all the stress I’ve placed on myself with the move my wife and I are making to Beaverton, Oregon in two weeks has taken its toll on me physically. We had nothing of reason to commit to making this move other than an invitation from some friends to consider entering in to a conversation about transitioning their church into something more meaningful a few months from now. No promise of a house, no job, no savings. It’s been a crazy, eventful–at times ridiculous–year so far. I wouldn’t wish our experiences on anyone else. Through it all, I’m still standing and walking in faith that God will clarify all of this and show me why we’ve faced so many challenges in just the past two months, and why he is uprooting us from our families here in Sacramento at the end of this month.
My hearts beeps…for now. I’m not quite sure why, nor for how much longer, but knowing everything that seems to be coming out of our misery, I truly believe God is moving and that he’s preparing me for something. Even if for just another hour, another day, another 40 years, or for eternity. God is up to something. I just wish it could be an easier journey some days as I’m starting to feel a little tired now. My heart beeps…for now. Thank you Lord for your protection, mercy, grace, and love. May what I set my mind, hands, and feet to be pleasing in your sight. May it be filled with the wisdom of your Spirit and the love your Son Jesus has for your creation. Thank you for keeping the hearts of my gracious and loving friends beeping so that they may be lamp in this world to others.
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speechless…and almost in tears.
i’ve been meaning to email you/ tweet at you today to make sure you’re feeling better, and so when you posted this link and saw the title i had to read it.
…praying rest and peace for you my friend.
Elora, thank you!!! I hope to find a place of rest (and some medical insurance) soon :)
I agree with people who advised u to see a dr….i had a stroke last year..but only after we traveled the 3 hours to the hospital did i have the stroke..they said another 2 hrs i would have been dead…but i realized after i woke up that i was not only alive because of the brain surgery etc, but God wanted me to live……i learned that it’s all up to God – not me. i’ll be praying 4 ur health and your move too…so you’re going to be an Oregonian huh?
Mark, I am sorry as I had no idea you had a stroke last year. I hope you fully recovered. Maybe there was some brain damage and that is why you follow my blog? :)
Yes, I am following in your footsteps and moving from California to Oregon in two weeks. Everyone in California thinks I’m crazy…ha, ha :)
Pastor Dave,
Everyone is right, you should see a doctor. Stress related medical cases are no joke. I apologize; however, I guess this means I am not praying hard enough for you guys.
Lovelee, please don’t burden yourself over my condition. You’ve prayes for and supported me for so many years and I appreciate that so much!!! What happened would have happened regardless as God is always with us. Funny as I ended up taking everyone’s advice and am actually typing this out from iPhone as I lay in a hospital bed. I’ll be fine though. Stay focused on your studies and keep influencing those in your generation. God has big plans for you in ways no pastor could ever fulfill! Thanks for being my friend :)
Dave,
Thanks for sharing. We will be praying for you. I appreciate your willingness to go anywhere and do anything for God’s glory. Peace and grace!