I’m tapping this post out on my iPhone from the beach in Santa Barbara. I know how glamorous that sounds, but in my mind it really isn’t. A lot has been going on in my life lately, but this really isn’t about me. It’s about finding beauty in the midst of chaos and life’s uncertainties.
In the past I could expect to be really upset that the timing of my brother-in-law’s heartache was crappy. I had just driven 1,200 miles through Santa Barbara to get to some meeting in Los Angeles. After coming home I was back in the car 2 days later headed to Santa Barbara. I could hAve felt put out because my wife wouldn’t fly after having a claustrophobic panic attack during a flight home from Portland, OR a few weeks ago. Yes, the timing of things was verh unfortunate, but when is it ever fortunate for a family member to have a heart attack?
I feel like my life is headed into a tailspin of chaos and trying to make up for lost time. However, as I sit here writing this I know I would be an idiot for letting that take away from the beauty I sense at this moment: My wife has the opportunity to show her love for her brother Allan by being here for him
when no one else is. She gets to be strong and responsible by helping manage his care by answering questions for the doctors. My daughters who hate long car rides came with me and have been able to spend time as sisters, laughing and having fun as well as being on the beach, which they really enjoy. Through all of this my friends on twitter and facebook have supported us through powerful prayer and even those I never expected to pray are there calling on God on behalf of our family and God is responding. The timing of our trip is such that we missed the heavy rains here and can experience a sunny day and relaxing environment. So many things to find beauty in what otherwise could have been depressing and overwhelming.
Today isn’t a day for feeling down, because I can now see how days like this can’t just be coincidental. Attitudes of joy and caring just can’t come to the forefront for those of us consumed by our own personal issues. God’s divinity, grace, and love have been present in all of this. I remember a time when it would have been a about me and the crap being rained down on my life. God’s plan to take me away from that place is the most wonderful thing that could have ever happened to me. Seeing him healing my brother-in-law and my family through this emergency and. recognizing true love from my friends (and new friends) is something that can’t be taught. May God reveal his way to you in such times so that you too can look to the beauty that is present in your chaos.
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Dave – I’ve been following your recent journey and praying for your brother-in-law, you and your family. Thanks for sharing the momentary chaos of your life and the reflections of beauty that you see. Today, I will choose to see the beauty of God also.
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:1-5