So, Meredith Baxter — known by many as Mrs. Elyse Keaton, mother to Alex P. Keaton on NBC’s Family Ties — has come out to declare to the world that she is a lesbian (news story here). Why? Why is it so relevant to us to know that Meredith Baxter considers herself to be a lesbian and has done so for the past 7 years? Do we really care so much about her business that we now feel compelled to judge her for her sexuality? Is it because she was Alex P. Keaton’s mother and now somehow her being a lesbian takes away from that memory?
One of the things about being involved in ministry is how people in the church will use this news as a reason for us Christians to rally together and pray for her to cleansed of her homosexual lifestyle. Unfortunately, this discounts some very important things:
- Only God can change someone, and it is his decision alone as to whether or not Ms. Baxter needs to be changed.
- If Ms. Baxter’s profession of homosexuality has doomed her to a life of eternal hell, then what about your viewing of internet porn, getting drunk on occasion, turning a blind eye to those in need or yelling at your husband/wife in anger?
- People are turned away from hypocritical Christians judging them, yet drawn to imperfect humans loving them through grace and kindness.
I guess Ms. Baxter felt compelled to share her lesbianism with the world, but in the end I doubt it will be what the world thinks in return that will matter to her. I sense this as a way to free herself from having to somehow hide her identity and pretend to be straight. Who is it that benefits from that perception of being straight? Obviously, those of us that choose to live in judgment and harbor prejudice. The problem here is, did we care about Ms. Baxter’s eternal salvation in Christ before she announced she was a lesbian?
Not to run away from my roots as an evangelical Christians, so for the record, I do believe that being a lesbian would prevent Ms. Baxter from knowing God–alongside him–in heaven one day. However, it is not my job to change her back to being heterosexual, if that were even possible. It’s not my job to view her as different or defective or eternally persecuted because of who she is attracted to or falls in love with. She is a person made in the image of God, just as you and I are. We all are. How he deals with each of us and our role in the eternal makeup of the universe is at his discretion. I can believe firmly in the truth as I see it, but must never move away from the truth behind the truth, which is:
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. –1 Peter 4:8
It is my sincere hope for Ms. Baxter that she one day comes to know God eternally in heaven, yet only on God’s terms and through his love for her as revealed by others. May her value and worth be in who she is–as made in the image of God–rather than who she dates or what we (personally) think of her.
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Tags: 1 peter 4:8, gay, homosexuality, love, meredith baxter, sin
Right on. I think you’re taking a pretty plain reading scripture on this one that folks should find easy to swallow. Well, I would hope at least. Whatever she believes or doesn’t believe, she needs the Gospel just as we all do.
Ed, the intent wasn’t to argue over theology, so nothing really deep was posted. Just trying to spread a message of love that isn’t rooted in tolerance, but in love for the sake of love as Christ commands us. Thanks for taking the time to read the post and comment :)
I wish more people had this reaction
Thanks Kyle…I agree :)
Great post, Dave! While I don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin, I 100% agree with you that the important thing is whether we love and forgive as we have been loved and forgiven by God through Christ. God has not called us to be judges of one another… that is quite clearly His job alone.
Thanks Amy :)
You brought tears to my eyes as I read this. Some sins are so much more visible than others, and I can be so quick to judge sometimes…yet what makes my sins “better”? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Right on, Dave, thank you for your perspective and for sharing it.
I remember being at one of the earliest Promise Keeper assemblies in Colorado, and several gay protesters were outside the entrance. You can imagine the reactions of many of the attending men to these protesters. I offered one of them my ticket. I said, “If you were to go inside and listen, you’d find that not one speaker is saying anything at all about being gay or not being gay. No one is attacking you. In fact, we’re not talking about you at all…we’re talking about me. About us. About how we can help each other be the men we’re supposed to be, and about what God might have in store for us as men.” Unfortunately, he didn’t take me up on my offer.
Great thought of yours: >>It is my sincere hope for Ms. Baxter that she one day come to know God eternally in heaven, yet only on God’s terms and through his love for her as revealed by others.<<
Amen.
Mark, thanks for working through this with me via the blog post. Too often we use a scale to determine our sins, yet God uses no such scale and Christ taught very clearly on this as well. Too often we are quick to convert others from their sin (or perceived sin) and hide behind the phrase of doing so “in love.” I argue that most do so in judgment and place of righteousness, rather than in true love.
I appreciate that you are willing to engage people that oppose you rather than just brush them off. While they may not realize it, in situations like you described people are seeking attention, yet we overlook them rather than share Christ’s love with them. Thank you for your boldness in love to your fellow human :)
Hey Dave,
A few rambling thoughts…
I worked on movies and tv shows for several years in the 1990′s – as I was struggling to make it in professional golf and before I went into full-time ministry. Very, very few of the people that I worked with at that time were followers of Jesus and on their way to heaven. I know that some of the people I worked with at that time have since died and you might guess that maybe some of them have gone to hell. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter to anyone in hell whether they were heterosexual or homosexual when they were here on earth.
The only thing I find to be really important at this time is to preach Christ crucified to all and love people into heaven while we’re here.
BTW – I had the privilege of working with Meredith on a couple of films.
After Jimmy 1996
The Inheritance 1997
They were both excellent films in which she showed amazing ability as an actress. “After Jimmy” was about losing a son to suicide (probably the most difficult part I can imagine playing). She was a true professional as an actress and from what I saw, she was kind to everyone in every way. She was one of the few actors/actresses that I greatly admired and enjoyed getting to know even in a very small way. My prayers are with her and many of those that I worked with at that time. I wish I was a better evangelist and had been able to reach more. I found my time in Hollywood was a difficult mission field. Unfortunately, I’m better as a pastor than a missionary! Missionaries rock!
David, one of the discouraging things to me is when we look back at who we knew and feel bad for not doing more to “get them into heaven.” God can do all things, even through us when we try our best to resist. His plan is his alone and often times we find that we had far more reaching influence than we ever knew.
Meredith Baxter always seemed genuine at her craft and someone with a big heart. Your experiences with her confirm my thoughts. To overlook her now and focus on her homosexuality just makes no sense to me. She has tremendous value to the human race and it is nice to see you count it a blessing to have had a chance to work alongside her.
Having had the privilege to gather with you one Sunday it is obvious to me that by the love the people of Shepherd Of The Hills Antelope Valley have for you and you for them, you are a missionary to many of them as you are Christ’s ambassador in the truest sense. Don’t short change yourself! You rock!
Amen!
Great post, Dave. The only think I gave a small issue with is your point 1. about God being the only one to decide if she needs to change.
He’s definitely the only one that can change us…I’ve been there myself on this very matter…but a crucial part of that us our decision to let Him. Be assured He wants us too. We just need to play our role in that process – listening to Him and then acting .
And praying for the salvation of people we respect, regardless of their particular sin of choice, is a great way of demonstrating our love for them.
So does Meredith’s decision change whether I pray fior her or not myself? Well, in this case, as homosexuality is a lie of satan that I know and understand all too well, yes it does…she’s now on my list along with people I respect like Ellen, and with people I’d like to one day respect like Adam Lambert. All great talents trapped in a lie. Just like we all are over one thing or another, and God’s grace is enough to release us if we only let Him in, right. And yeah I know this wasn’t meant to be a big theological post, just had to mention why in this case the news changes my personal focus :)
Oh the fun of iPhone typos…. :)