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I know I’m probably in the minority here, but to me social networking is not a right, it’s a privilege. What I mean by that is just because someone puts themselves out on the internet via social media tools like twitter or facebook, it does not mean that they are obligated to connect with you. I know some people that follow everyone on twitter that follows them and others that accept every friend request they receive on facebook. Some actually do both. I choose not to. I know I lose several followers on twitter as a result, but I actually believe that it’s up to me to choose how I use social networking sites--there is no golden rule I am to follow.

I don’t follow people on twitter just because they follow me. I have tried doing that and have lost a lot of great conversation and nuggets of wisdom through being bombarded with a bunch of tweets I really wasn’t interested in seeing. No offense to my fellow twitterers, but I really only follow people that are relevant to my present calling in ministry, those that challenge and stretch my thinking and way of doing things, and those that I have conversed with previously. Twitter is a two-way connection. I don’t want it to be solely about me and my life or you and your life. I want to use twitter to bridge the gap between my life and your life. I’m getting to the same point with my facebook friends. I’m pairing down my facebook friend’s list to include only those people I am really connected with, or those that will engage in dialog and respond to comments. I can’t tell you how frustrating I find it when someone posts something on twitter or facebook, yet never responds to any of the replies. At that point it’s not about networking and building relationships, it becomes about you and how great you are.

I had a chance to meet a truly great person today named Rob Dale (@robdale). Back when I started using twitter about a year ago I searched for fellow church planters. Rob was one of the hits I got back in that search and is someone I consider privileged to know. He is the pastor of Capital City Biker’s Church in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Our backgrounds and ministries are very different. If I passed Rob on the street, I probably wouldn’t think to myself, “That’s a guy I need to know.” However, after all of the encouragement he has shared with me over the past year and having had a chance to meet him in person this morning, he absolutely is someone I am so glad I got to know. He stretches my thinking and causes me to look at ministry and people a different way. Just because Pastor Dale was using twitter and categorized himself as a church planter didn’t give me the right to enter into a relationship with him. Knowing the fact that after riding somewhere around 4,000 on a Harley from Ottawa to California he was gracious enough to sit with me for two hours and chat, I know it is a special privilege to be able to meet with him during his busy schedule. It reminded me of how much value the people I connect with on twitter and facebook add to my life and how humbling it is to know that they have taken time out of their day to stay updated on my thoughts and experiences.

So, if I don’t immediately follow you back on twitter, or if I’m not your friend on facebook I hope you’ll understand why. It’s nothing personal. It’s just that I value my relationships (twitter/facebook/real space) and I use social networking tools to stay connected with people--not as a tool to get others to know me. It’s not about my arrogance or your status. It’s about the privilege of getting to know certain people that eventually become part of my journey rather than a bunch of anonymous people I know by @blahblah or facebook.com/whatsmynameagain.

As I know a lot of you use social networking in different ways, please post your contrasting perspectives as a comment. I’d appreciate knowing how you utilize social media for networking and if you see it more about networking with everyone or building meaningful relationships with select people.

Related posts:

1. How Social Networking Changed Things
2. The Idea Camp: Post-camp thoughts…art of networking
3. Social Media and The Church in 2011
4. The Idea Camp: Post-camp Thoughts…Technology And Social Media
5. Twitter is a social network, not a competition!

Tags: facebook, social media, twitter

This entry was posted on Monday, September 28th, 2009 at 2:20 pm and is filed under social networking. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.