I had a great conversation with a friend of mine in San Francisco last night. One of the things we discussed was who we were as individuals. We did it in the context of who we were socially, economically, racially, and how others viewed us. Have you ever paused to think about who you are? Why people like you? What you don’t like about yourself? Why you do and act the way that you do?
One of the issues I have is when people that are Christians start acting more Christian around me once they know I am in ministry. Words like: saved, sanctified, glorified, God, hallelujah, praise the Lord, blood-bought, forgiven, sinner, amen, desert place, seasons, manna, etc. It’s almost as if some people believe they need to act more religious around me because I pastor a church. Why? Seriously, it doesn’t impress me and causes me to wonder why they are trying to overtly show me they know religious words. What language do they speak when they are around people outside of the church? Who are they when they aren’t in my presence?
A lot of times when we seek to evangelize the world, we use church language to do so. It simply doesn’t work. My wife has been in two car accidents in the past two years. Anytime we go through the same two intersections where she was hit from behind she gets noticeably anxious. When she is driving, she’ll actually avoid those intersections completely. Did you know that when you approach people that have been hurt in church before, that speaking the language of the church causes them to become anxious and want to avoid you?
It’s not your use of Christian language that will help someone to know Christ. It’s your actions! Therefore, it’s best to just be yourself--whoever that may be--and let others come to know the real you. Save the fake personality and religious language for someone else. Be yourself! God created us in his likeness, yet made us each individuals. Just as no two people ever born will share the same set of fingerprints, neither will we have the exact same personalities or experiences. God accepts you where you are and is pleased with who you are. Therefore, I’m sure he wants you to do the same. If you’re struggling through some things, it’s okay to let someone else know. If your a Christian and the person you’re talking to isn’t, it’s good to let them know that you don’t live a perfect life and that sometimes you don’t live out your faith believing God will deliver you from a certain situation. You won’t get a degree or a trophy for having the best use of religious language in your conversations.
Culturally the church needs to change. Just because we know Christ in our hearts and believe that he is our Lord and Savior doesn’t make us better than someone that refutes the existence of God or Christ. When we start using special language or fake the appearance of strength when we are really weak and vulnerable it causes people to look at us as being fake.
Are you trying to live up to what you think others expect of you? Please don’t. No matter how hard you try, at some point you will disappoint someone. Knowing Christ means knowing grace. Knowing Christ means knowing compassion. Knowing Christ means knowing how to serve others. Knowing Christ means knowing that it’s better to be real than to be fake. You are not an actor. You don’t need to constantly perform for the sake of others. Learn to be yourself and you’ll find people drawn to you for who you are, not who they think you are or would like you to be. Who are you?
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Great topic Dave. It really is about being ourself. I had a lunch with a friend yesteday who was beating himself up over his faults. I reminded him we are all a work and progress.
Jon: Thanks! My friend was struggling with isolating himself from people until he could get to a place where he could be and act like who he thought they expected him to be. No need to perform for the sake of others. True, we are all a work in progress.
Great post, Dave. I appreciate the last paragraph, especially. Knowing Christ liberates us from having to act.