Need advice? Maybe a pastor isn’t the best answer

Saw a rude awakening over at Tony Morgan’s blog. He commented that in books his wife is reading regarding raising teens, that the standard advice is to get counsel from a friend, counselor, or pastor. Tony then goes on to say,

“Being a pastor, let me just say that’s about the stupidest advice a book could provide. Good counsel doesn’t come with position. Good counsel comes with experience. And, frankly, I know very few pastors that have successfully raised teenagers.”

Ouchie mama! That hurts. However, it seems to be true from my perspective too. For whatever reason it seems that a lot of pastor’s kids in their teens seem to be less-than-model teenagers. Some pastors that are parents may do the right thing yet find that kids will be kids and I am sure some pastors have raised perfect teens. However, I agree wholeheartedly that “good counsel doesn’t come with position.” This is one of the things that allows me to be me because I have lived most of my life outside of faith and outside of the church. Trust me, I’ve been through a lot can probably relate to at least 90% of the things people will come talk to me about. By no means am I an expert, but I may have been where you’re at and know what you’re going through and am committed to try and help you get through it, even if my best advice is to direct you to someone better-equipped to counsel you. Remember, just because I may know your struggle and have walked in your shoes, it may not mean I overcame it in the best of ways. In his blog post, Tony also comments:

“If you need advice, first ask the question who has walked through this same situation and come out the other side in a healthy position? Personally, I try to find coaching/counsel that’s coming out of a person’s success rather than a title behind their name.”

Again, I couldn’t agree more. Also, keep in mind that what works for some may not work for you. This is where having some good, objective counsel from people that know you well will come in handy.

Seek counsel from someone you can trust and be discerning and wise. Look to the successes others have had to give you hope and inspiration. Always remember that God provided the ultimate Counselor in Christ who is by your side and you should seek and trust His wisdom first in all things.

Tags: counseling, pastor, tony morgan, wisdom